Tuesday, September 30, 2014

OMMMMMMM


Zen time with friends in Burlington because although its only Tuesday, it needs to be Friday. 
I live with 3 other people which is nice because all my friends are right there, but it is a lot sometimes. Right now one of my suite mates is mad at me and she hasn't really said why and there is just a lot of tension and the whole suite is just in awkward, silent chaos. We've started referring to our suite as a zoo. It's awesome. Except not. But oh well, to each their own. I'll just be over here meditating while the Zoo continues to run. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Blessed (Post-retreat gratitude)

Fall in Love


~Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907–1991)




Leave your fears, anxieties, worries, and pains at the foot of the cross. Be at peace and follow Him.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Ballet

I love ballet. Shows about ballet, movies about ballet, ballet shoes, youtube ballet tutorials: I'm obsessed. I have wanted to take a ballet class since freshmen year, and now I finally am!! I'm absolutely terrible but getting better. Needless to say, I would rather watch the professionals rather than take a class any day.


Oh and there's one of my tattoos (2 actually). I got the white cross on a whim freshmen year and the quote reads: "It was then that I carried you" from the footprints in the sand story. It was my 20th birthday gift to myself <3

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

American Addiction


A recent poem:

Breathing in the sweet aroma of lust and agony
Breathing in I feel the warmth and pain
I taste every kiss and every tear
Deserted alone on the road I breath in

American spirits flying higher than the truth
Smoke engulfs me
grasping my heart my lungs 
Every breath like fire and ice
Comfort and irritation  
Happiness taken by trust

Breathing in i believe in him 
Breathing in i feel the temptation
Indulging my every urge
taking me higher and dragging me down

Take a drag, 
Blow it out. 

Feel the sensational calm
Feel the racing of a dying heart
the smoke clears a new path
He disappears on the wings of ashes 

Lungs give out

unable to hold the sadness of living 
American addiction:
     the only way

         I know how to forget

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Todays thoughts.....

Today in Counseling Theory and Method, our professor asked us why we wanted to go into the field of counseling. I have totally thought about this, but she encouraged us to look deeper than we had before. My initial response was that I cared for people and wanted to help them because I had been through some things that I thought I could help others through as well. This was my reasoning when I became a psych major, and it is still true. But my reasoning now is definitely deeper and more clear to me know.

If you have read this blog, you know I have been going to counseling since I was in 9th grade. At that particular time in my life, counseling did not mean much to me. Dr. S was not my favorite person and I actually kind of hated her, despite the fact she was very helpful. I have been seeing a counselor in college as well, and it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

I have seen a growth and development within myself through the lens of counseling. I have reached a place where I am very happy with who I am. I want to see people get to that place. Everyone is genuinely good despite the idea of Original Sin and the Fall. All people have a purpose and great potential that they could reach if they are willing to do so. I want to help people reach this potential.

I wish I could say that the way I will do this in my life is as a licensed professional counselor or something of the sort, but I don't know. I like the idea, but I have something else thats been tugging at my heart for a while now. That whole 'I want to be a nun' thing has not gone away but continue to grow. As frustrating as scary as this idea is, I love it. It is going to be a long journey, the journey into the real world after college. And I still don't have the answers. I wonder if I will look back on this blog as a counselor or nun and wonder if I made the right decisions......

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Junior Year and Life is Beautiful

I have been back at school for about 2 weeks. I am a Junior in college, when did that happen? I often reread this blog as encouragement for the future. I look back to my freshman year of high school and the dark days of being a teenager. I am happy to say my life is drastically different and better. I am also glad that despite the changes that have occurred in the last five years or so, I can still that rebellious and ambitious MimiX within the Sarah Nadezhda I am today.

I have never cared if anyone reads my blog. I hope to continue it though because I like to see my progress and development. It has been confusing and it has been hard at times, but this is me. And I'm happy with that. Life is so beautiful and needs to be cherished and appreciated in every moment because this moment is all we truly has. Who knows what the world will be like tomorrow? We could wake up and realize we have been living in a dream world of illusion. But more than likely we will wake up and it will be more than less the same. The thing is, it is different. Everything about it and seemingly nothing.

We are given the gift of a new day through the grace and love of God. WE have the choice to make each day bright and new, all we have to do is be mindful and aware of the worlds great potential and there are endless things to be discovered.

So this post is totally cliche, and I'm okay with that because I am feeling strangely optimistic and excited for this new school year. It's going to be incredible, I can just tell.

Sarah Nadezhda