Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Zoloft

I did some research about this medicine my doc put me on. These are the side effects of the antidepressant I forgot to mention yesterday (my doctor told me about them, I just totally forgot about them.): dizziness, headaches, nausea right after a dose, insomnia, feeling jittery. I have a headache and I didn't sleep lat night. I don't know if it's the zolofts fault, but for now I'm saying it is. Uhhh. And emotionally? Not much yet, it will take a couple weeks. But last night it totally calmed my mind before I went to bed so I wasn't up thinking depressing thoughts. I hate that I can get some of the side effects from the medicine just hours after the first dose, but it can take anywhere between 1-8 weeks for it to actually start doing what it is suppose to do for me emotionally. And I feel like a druggie. Taking zoloft and ibuprofen for headaches every other hour. My friends have noticed this too.

Oh well, the side affects are more noticeable during the first couple of days on the medication, so they won't be as bad in couple days. This is some other info about zoloft I found (for all of you that are so fascinated with the anatomy of antidepressants): Zoloft is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which works by increasing the amount of serotonin, a neurotransmitter found in the brain. AKA the medicine increases some chemical stuff in my brain so I stay happy and don't think about depressing emotions. Also, zoloft is used to treat OCD and anxiety.

Fun Stuff right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Shrink Has An Earing

This weekended wasn't as stressful as I made it out to be. The concert went well and drama wasn't so long. But I am still doomed to fail that test on The Odyssey I have after lunch. I probably should be studying for that right now, but oh well.

So, I went to the psychiatrist just a half hour ago. Dr. B is very nice. He has a white beard and a long white pony tail. And he has an earring. Seriously? This is my shrink, the guy who can give me medication and who is suppose to understand how I feel? Really? Yes, really and he was very easy to talk to. He asked questions, I answered, and that was pretty much it. He asked m to tell him a little about my self and we talked (very comfortably I may add.) Then he diagnosed me with depression. Well, actually he didn't say that but he prescribed antidepressants, so I am guessing his official diagnosis is depression.

Yes, antidepressants, God only knows if they work. But DB insisted they will, so I'm gunna take them. I also had to agree to go to counseling to take the meds. At least these meds don't have really bad side affects. Only headaches, yeah like the ones I already get EVERY DAY! oh well, with a bottle of ibuprofen I should be all good. Haha, I got junior ibuprofen at the store. You know, the one that says for ages 6-11 on the front in big red letters? Yeah, that is what I got.
I swear, I'm losing it. I'm to young for that...

MX

Friday, March 20, 2009

This Weekened

I have such a busy weekend to look forward to! Eww.

Friday-Rehearsal for the musical for an hour after school. Then I'm working at fashion show at my school with my mom. Not what I wanted to do, but my sister is going so if I didn't, that would be strange.



Saturday-Studying for tests on Monday and reading my theology book. I think I have to babysit for awhile. Then I am going to see a production of West Side Story at another high school in the district. Best part f the weekend. Best part of life! Well, music and musicals that is.



Sunday-Church. Rehearsal for like 3 hours. Choir concert at my church. Then I am directing the Stations of the Cross at my church. To much time at church.



Monday-Doctors, psychiatrist, shrink, whatever you wanna call it. I am not looking forward to this. It makes me feel anxious thinking about telling a random person all the crap I feel.

AT least I know I am not alone. My friend from school was just diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Us depressed people have to stick together. lol!

Yeppp, Life is fun :) (that is partly sarcastic, partly not)



MX

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Back To My Blog...

I really don't do well writing/ reading blogs. I once kept a journal when I was in 5th grade and I managed to write in it every day until I was in 7th grade. I was very proud of myself, even though my journal entries weren't very interesting. I now write in my journal once a month or so. But I guess I do a little better with this blogging thing.

Not much has happened since I last wrote. (What's new?) Lets see what happened...I went to see a movie. (Slumdog Millionaire, very good btw) I went over Maya4Life's house. We made cookies, and pancakes, and nachos. (We didn't eat every thing, just fyi. We just enjoy cooking when no one will take us to the mall.) Then we went for a really long walk. I went to church. I slept. Oh yeah, and I had a fight with my mom.

Fun stuff right? Not so much. So, I had yet another fight with my mom. About school. Of course. When it come s to school, we do not agree. I keep telling her I need to go to a better school for music because that's what I want to do with my life. I told her I want to transfer to the school where my dad works, still. She said it wasn't happening. (BTW, they cut half the music teachers at my dad's school, so I don't know how much better the music is at my dad's school verse mine.) Then, somehow we got to how ungrateful and mean I am to my mom. I went to my room.I cried. I wouldn't talk to my mom. She apologized. I was still upset with her for so many things she didn't even understand. I told her that. She was very confused about how was acting, So I let her read one of my journal entries.

It was the one I had written the night before. It was about how depressed and angry and guilty I felt. It was about how I felt Ike I couldn't talk to anyone about this because no one understood. It was very emo, I have to say. But it was true. She called my doctor the next day. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next Monday. She thinks I am depressed. She wants to get me a counselor and medication. And ya know what, I actually agree with her for once.

I do feel depressed, I don't want to, but no mater what I do I still feel the same way. I don't know when this started and I don't know why, but I am taking steps to stop it before it takes over. Well takes over anymore then it already has.

Anyway...yep that's all that happened. I have such a interesting life, don't you think? lol.

Till next time...

MX

Friday, March 6, 2009

Life Lately *I need to come up with better titles*

So, I finally decide to write a blog when I should be attempting to understand my unfinished science homework. Well, actually I can't really do that because apparently our librarian is being the mean witch (with a b, lol) that she is and won't let anyone in the library. Oh, well.

Honestly, not much has happened since the last time I wrote. Things have been pretty sucky lately. Well, emotionally they have been. I mean I am doing well in school (I finally have all a's and one b), I tried out for the musical (which I feel pretty good about), and it's Friday. But, I just don't feel like myself. It's been another one of those "depressed feelings" week. And me and my mom have NOT been getting along. We fight about EVERYTHING!!!! The most resent fight we had was the following:
Mom: "You talk to yourself to much"
Me: "No, I'm talking to you, your just not listening."
I am not making that up. I think it is mostly my fault, because I can be very mean to her. I try really hard not to be, but sometimes I just feel so angry for no reason at all, especially at her.

But anyway, I turned 15 on Monday, and I had a snow day too! I am old enough to take drivers ed!! WOW, not that my mom will let me take it. Ugh. But just knowing I could is very satisfying. And I am also older than E now, which is very amusing to me. And I totally got the sound track to Sweeney Todd (The Demon Barber of Fleet Street) for my bday (along with some cash and some other stuff.) I love that musical now. We saw it about a week ago, and now I'm like obsessed with it. Mostly because Johny Depp is in the movie version of it (he sings very well in it, btw.) Oh, and my dad's old student teacher (DJ) played Sweeney Todd in the Broadway national tour. (That is the production we saw.) He was so amazingly good for the part! This musical is such a dark one, yet the music in it is great! I think it is in my fav five for musicals now.

Oh yeah, I think I mentioned this but I audition for the spring musical. The production we are doing is Starmites!, which is about a girl who is obsessed with comic books and goes into the comic book world and becomes the super hero in it. Strange, I know. I don't understand why our director has to pick such strange plays/musicals. I mean, for the one act he picked a play called Asylum. I think the name pretty much gives away the weirdness of it. At least this musical has a lot of lead and minor roles.

Anyway, that's all that's really happened lately in The Life and Times of MimiX. Write again when something interesting happens...
MX