Sunday, October 4, 2009

MA VIE (My Life)

I'm BACK! I actually haven't been anywhere, but just haven't bothered writing a post for awhile for a few reasons One: I am extremely busy with drama/ chamber singers and of course school. Two: I'm LAZY, and three: Facebook always distracts me every SINGLE TIME I go online.

Well, lots of stuff has been going on since my last post. First of all, I started school. I am absolutely loving high school, and I mean everything about it! I have made so many great friends who I have really connected with. My classes are challenging, but in a good way. We have already covered a lot of material in such a short amount of time and the classes are actually (for the most part) interesting and okay to sit through. (Which is a plus, since our classes are 80 minutes.) AND I have ALL A's!! Even in geometry! My geo. teacher is out there, he is a great teacher and very nice, but he is different. My dad described him to me as Kramer for Seinfeld.

I also have my dad as a teacher every day and I have to say I am enjoying that a lot. I have learned so much in his music theory class and I am really excited that we are working on sight reading in chours.

Drama is also going amazingly well and I can not believe how fast our show(Oliver) is coming together. I am also super pumped to be playing a orphan, a boy, a woman, and a police. My many personalities should be very interesting to play and watch. Chamber singers has been so much fun and it is a great time to hangout with my friends because we all have such different schedules. The songs we are preparing for our big Christmas concert are just beautiful and I think for some of the songs, there will be some tears...

YE, that's my life right now. Everything is going great. I really haven't been this happy for a long time and I'm loving it!

I really haven't been missing my old school, except for my theology class, but I'm guessing you all could have guessed that. BUT I joined the youth group at my dad and his fiance's congregation, and I am looking forward to having some kind of theological activity I can participate in outside of just mass.

That's all for now,

MX :)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Back From A Week Of Rehearsals

I start school in two days!!!! I am so excited. Well, I'm excited about going back, but not about writing that last essay due on the day school starts!

So, all this week I have been at my high school doing chamber singers and drama rehearsals! It has been a blast! For anyone that doesn't know, chamber singers is our schools big choir that tours and is rather well known in New England, Canada, and Europe. And I finally get to be a part of it. I say finally because my dad is the director of the group and I have watched them preform for so many years, but now I get to preform with them. And btw, we are doing Oliver for our fall musical! What a step up from the Time Machine and Starmites! (They were fun though, but wicked lame I have to say.)

Today we (chamber singers) had our first concert for all the faculty in the school district. We did four songs (all I actually really liked) and we did stomp/ haul out a can. That was the funniest one to do. Again, if you don't know (I know some of you don't because you don't even know me) stomp/ haul out a can is this song my dad kind of made up with trash cans, barrels, etc as a percussion section and the choir does this dance involving posing, stomping, and clapping. It's pretty sweet. This year we actually added a 'We Will Rock You' section in the middle because my sis heard it on a CD and suggested it to my dad.

Anyway, the concert went great, I think, for only having one week of rehearsals. And it was so much fun! I felt so comfortable on stage and I really felt (for once) that I belonged where I was. We also went out to breakfast afterwards and we had some much fun just talking to each other about what we are looking forward to doing in the group.

I already knew some of the kids in CS and drama, so that was good, but I have also made a lot of new friends. And I have friends that are from all grades. At my old school that really wasn't socially accepted (as stupid as it sounds). But here it is what everyone does, which is great because we all know upper class men are the cool people. Hahaha, I just say that cuz I'm not a freshmen anymore, so I can say that. Actually. anyone who does drama, they are the cool people in my eyes.

What else? Oh yeah, I also went to a beginning of school sleepover last night with a bunch of girls from CS. We had so much fun! We watched movies and played Disney Scene It (we're all Disney freaks, btw) and we probably stayed up later then we should have since we had a concert today. But with some coffee, we were all set to go! We laughed so hard last night and everything we talked about they said: "Don't tell Dr. D!" (That's what they call my dad.) Haha, I have been Daughter D by one of the seniors. They all thought that I would be like a double agent for my dad about things people from the choir say (not that they're saying anything really bad), but I assured them he will hear nothing from me unless someone threatens me, someone else, or themselves (aka, suicidal). And I didn't feel awkward around them at all. Usually if I stay over someones house that I don't know very well, it feels super awkward for me. But hanging out with everyone is kind of like (for me anyway) when you see those cousins that you haven't seen in months. It's awkward for a whole 10 minutes, but then your laughing and talking like you are best friends.

There's one more huge event that has happened since the last time I wrote. My dad and his girlfriend got engaged, and we moved into her house! (Actually it wasn't in that order, but w/e.) I am so happy for the both of them and I am really excited that, I guess my knew part time home, is so close to my new school. My dad's fiance is really nice and her kids are to (but they are in college and left home a few days ago) And I am really glad that we get to live with them and be apart of their family.

WELL, I need to stop looking at a computer screen because I think my eye is infected (I need new contacts).

Peace 0ut,

MimiX

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Yeah I know, it's been awhile. Don't even get me started...

I've been at both my camps in the last I don't know, 3 weeks? It's been fun, I've been seeing a lot, which is good. I'm being social. I've even hung out with my friends from Windham and from other schools! My counselor would be so proud! (Haha, btw I haven't been to see her in over a month and I'm out of meds. Oops.)

Mmm, what else has happened? Oh, our whole computer had to be like cleaned out, so we basically have a new computer. I am not happy. I lost EVERYTHING: my pics, my music, everything! SO, right now I am in the middle of putting music back on iTunes. This should take awhile...

I am also reading Jane Eyre right now for summer reading. I just finished The Book Thief, and it was AMAZING!!! I have read so many books about WW2, but this is one of the best. As for Jane: people have said it is a really hard book to get through, but I beg to differ. I think it is very easy to read and it is different from the things I usually read.

After I finish reading it, I have so many essays I have to write on it for honors II English. Oh, well, I think it will be worth it because my dad tells me I have a really great teacher.

On that note of next year, I am so excited to start school although I have so much to do to get ready. As the new school year draws nearer, everything feels so real. Before I just couldn't believe all the things that were offered to me like honors classes, a role in the musical, and a spot in my dad's choir, it didn't feel like those things were mine yet. But the more I think about it, I can just imagine what all these things will be like and it makes me so excited and enthusiastic about school. Wow, that's a change from last year!

MX

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Back From Limited Internet Access



Finally back on blogger! I've been up at my camp int little old Weston Maine, which no one has heard of. It rained the whole time we were there. But it was still fun to be with my grandparents, dad, dad's girlfriend, my totally crazy but fun aunt, and even being with McAri was fun. When we came home we went to my mom's camp to see our cousins from PA, and my godmother who is also insane but awesome.



So I have had my fill of camp for the summer, all though I think we are going back again sometime soon.



And last night I went to see Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. The book is so much better, but what's new? They left out a lot of the good parts from the book which really made me mad. Oh well, Harry and Ginny are adorable together and so is Ron and Hermione. (Sp?) I hopefully can go see It again in Imax 3D which would be awesome!!!! Oh and Helena Bonham Carter/ Alan Rickman are both in this movie and Sweeney Todd, two of my all time fav movies!



I went to the movies with some new friends from my new school and I had a blast! Now I can't wait to hang out with them again and start school!


That's all for now!
MX
PS:I <3>

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My new haircut

When I started this blog I was never going to post any pics of myself, but I just got a new haircut and I love it! You have to understand that I have always had long hair and this is the shortest I've had it. I cut it a couple years ago short, but not this short. SO, today I donated 11.5 inches of hair to lock of love. Here it is:
MimiX

Monday, June 22, 2009

My Summer Has Begun

I haven't written in awhile, I know. I have been out of school for 2 weeks and I am proud to say I haven't done much. I went to the movies and a baseball game. I babysat too. The rest of the time I was either at home watching TV/ sleeping, or I was at my mom/ dad's work helping out.

Yesterday, we had a great father's day. We had a cookout at my dad's girlfriend's house. Both her daughter and son were there; they are both very nice and fun to hang with, especially her son who is 21. That's how old my brother who lives in Russia would be. I have always wanted an older brother, that's why I guess I like him so much.

Anyway, we got my dad a really nice GPS fr a gift because he had another one, but it was stolen. I was that me and my sis bought it with our own money we got from babysitting.

Today we moved back in with my mom who has been in Illinois doing some research trip on Abraham Lincoln. She bought a new TV and an ipod today. I am so glad she has finally decided to join the 21st century. Big step.

Ohhhh, and today I told my Grandmother I am going to transfer schools. She took it a lot better then I thought she would. See, my Grandfather and my uncles went to my old school and I was the first girl in the family to go there. It use to be an all boys school, btw.

Finally, I went counseling this week. I really don't like counseling (which is technically called psychotherapy). We talked about how I need to stop thinking negative thoughts about my self and start thinking positive ones, w/e. My counselor is just really annoying sometimes and the sessions just keep getting more emotional. We also talked about how much I already miss my friends and teachers from my old school. And that reminds me, MP if ever read my blog, can you please leave me a comment or something, because I really want to know who is looking at what I write. And I miss you!

What I am I going to do without a theology class next year? lol.

MX

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I Have Survived 9th Grade! WOW!

I can not believe a year has gone by so fast. I can not believe I am done being a freshmen. I can't believe I have finished finals with straight A's (I think). And I can not believe I am transferring schools

Yesterday I shadowed (or followed some one around all day) at my new high school. G was very nice and I had an absolutely wonderful day with her. It was her last day of school, so we mostly hung out in the class rooms, but I got an idea of what the teachers, schedules, students, etc.. would be like. It was very fun and I saw a lot of my old friends and was also introduced to new ones. I also had choir practice after school. I made my dad's choir that is very well known and respected. All the friends I made yesterday (and G) made this choir. I have watched this choir singing since I was very young and I have always dreamed of being in it, now I am! They learn so much in the choir but they also have a great time doing. This choir has such a wonderful family atmosphere, and I feel so welcome there. No one seems to mind that my dad is the director, which is such a relief.

Over all, I had an awesome day at my new school and it wasn't even awkward having my dad as a teacher! It was actually very interesting because he is very good at what he does, which is teach students to be wonderful performers.

You have no idea how grateful and thankful that my parents, the school, the students, etc.. are giving me the chance to try this different high school. I am also so glad that there are all so accepting of me and they make me feel like I belong.

Now I actually can't wait to go back to school, which is something I never looked forward to at my other school.

Tuesday and today, I have been helping where my mom works, which is at an elementary school teaching fifth grade. I have loved meeting her class and getting to work with them. I have been able to help with math and I also got to lead a reading lesson. This is such great practice for me because I want to be a teacher some day.


There are also some students that I have seemed to connect with in such a short amount of time. MayaH in particular has been very accepting of me. My mom has told me that she does not always listen, and that she gets in trouble. Then she also told me that her mother abandoned her and she now lives with her aunt. No wonder this girl is wanting to be rebellious. But she has been so sweet to me, and I have really enjoyed helping her,

I wish I could spend more time with these kids and get to know them better, but tomorrow is my moms last day of work so I won't get to see them. :( But I am coming back tomorrow for their little party and I hope to spend more time in my mom's classroom next year.

Well, time to have a reading circle with the while my mom is in a meeting.

MX

Friday, June 5, 2009

YearBook Entries

I AM GOING TO MISS EVERYONE FROM SCHOOL!!!!!!! I have so many friends that mean so much more to me then I thought, so saying goodbye is going to be sad. :( I will not lose contact with these wonderful people. Well, how can you with Facebook around? (That is, if your not grounded.)

I had my french final. Tres bien, I think. My teacher said she was disappointed that I was transferring schools. Who isn't? My friends at my new school aren't, anyway. Oh and Maya4life, but I haven't talked to her forever!!!! :( That's very depressing.

I also took my English and theology finals. I felt they both went pretty well. I only have science and history on Monday, and I'm free! Wait, no I'm not...I have to get a job. Oh well, work never hurt anyone. Neither did money!

Today I said goodbye to some of my friends that I wont see on Monday like Tiki (who is also transferring schools), Bee (my therapy and drama bff), and Mp because I don't think I'll see him either on Monday. But I gave him the URL to this blog! Hope he reads it, if he doesn't oh well. At least my dad does, love you Papa! My mom would to, but I don't feel like giving her the URL yet.

Anywho, here are somethings people wrote in my yearbook:

MimiX,

Don't put any more holes in your ears...haha.jk!
Have a good summer!

<3A

(She is, was, in my theology class)

MimiX,
My bff, we have endured sooo much together, crazy drama stuff, therapy (haha.)
I love you sooo much

XO Bee

(Aww, I'm gunna miss my drama/ therapy sister!)

MimiX,

you're a really cool person and I'll miss you next year when you leave :( French class definitely won't be the same without you...

-E

(My ex-crush!!! We are still friends, btw. He just doesn't want to date, w/e. Whoever his ex is, just broke his heart. How rude.)

Nadezhda,

It has been an absolute joy sitting next to you everyday! I love how ADD we are in science & sitting next to you in English was fun & being like one of four concert choir members who sang in mass! Drama was...well WOW. Haha. We will be friends for the rest of high school! I really hope you are in my science class next year! OMG, Pinopolo and the pie equation (pie + apple= apple pie)
Oh, and Mr. B totally ruined sunsets, chocolate cookies, and the blue sky *major sigh*
I am going to miss you tons this summer!

<3Paprika<3

( I don't think I've written about her...she was in a choir with me since 7Th grade and we ended up gong to the same school and now we are like BBFs)

This is my fav:

MimiX,
I am very sorry to know that you will not be returning next year. Remember that you can always com back if things don't work out next year. Don't forget you will always be a stag!
I had a pleasure getting to know you in class this year. See you next year at some b-ball games!

AMDG/ MAGIS

Love,
MP

*Sigh*

I LOVE MY MIDDLE/ RUSSIAN NAME: NADEZHDA


























Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Final #1 Down

I took my math final today. I do think I failed, which is good. I actually think I did really well. The only think I wasn't sure how to do was some equations with fractions. Oh well, as long as I get a B I'll be happy. One down, five more to go...

I also auditioned for my dads choir!! I think it was a very good audition, and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, all though I still was nervous. I did the sight reading perfectly, but I messed up on the rote singing. (That is when someone sings something, and you sing it back.) Now I have to audition for the musical in like a week. I am also shadowing at my new school next week, I am so excited!

Oh yeah, and I'm grounded from Facebook and my cell because I pierced my ears. And I had to take the earrings out, but I am not going to let the holes close because eventually I will be able to wear two ears.

Okay, I need to study for french, Je parle français très bien ! (I speak french very well!)

Au revoir,

MX

Monday, June 1, 2009

We Only Say Godbye to Meet Again

This is what Mp said to me when I told him I would not be returning to this school next year. I told him about the meeting with my parents and my counselor. He asked me if I thought being here was making me more depressed. I told him that I have been depressed for 3 years, and this school just wasn't right for me. I explained that I have really enjoyed being in his class this yea and was going to miss him terribly. He told me that I could always come back. I know I can, and if my dads school doesn't work out either, I will be back. He told me that he would be here all this week during finals so if I wanted to come back and just study and hang out in his room, that would be okay. He said that just because I was leaving, doesn't mean we can't be friends. He told me to email him anytime I want. AN I will. I didn't give him the url to my blog, but maybe sometime I will email him the link. He said that I was breaking his heart that I was leaving, but "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.”

HE thanked me for all that I had done this year and gave me a huge.

And I said no, thank you for all you have done for me this year. I appreciate it so much.


I'm gunna miss him. I know I can still talk to him, but I don't get to be in his class, or see him ever day.



But like he said, I will meet him again some day, and until then I there is email.

:(

MX

Earrings and Stress

I haven't written lately partly because I don't want to, partly because I have been studying for finals, and partly because I have been feeling very depressed and confused lately. I pierced my ears. Twice. My parents are ticked, my sister is upset, and Mp dose NOT approve. What can I say? I wanted them done, so I did them. But no more, I swear. Ever. I don't need anymore holes in my body. I have just been so confused about this, because my parents were confused about why i decided to do something I knew i shouldn't be doing. They think it was an act of self harm. It wasn't. It started out that way, but just ended with me wanting my ears pierced.

And I have felt very stressed lately. Finials start this week. I have an audition for my dad's choir at my new school next year. And I have been having second thoughts about transferring schools. I mean, I still WANT to,but it is just going to be harder then I thought. I am going to miss my friends, theology and Mp sooo much! And know one knows I am leaving yet and I don't know how to tell them.

I need to tell Mp, like, tomorrow. We have our last class. But he is upset with me now because he told me not to get anymore piercings, and I did. I'm gunna miss him and his over-protectiveness.

I don't know what else to say, there's to much stress with the end of the year. And having my parents all mad and not trusting me, makes it worse. I guess it's mine own fault, but still. Having to deal with this is making me feel more depressed and anxious.

Write again after finals...

MX

Saturday, May 30, 2009

RENT: THE FINAL ACT


I am so excited!!! My dad and his girlfriend are planning a trip for the three of us to go to Boston and see RENT!!!! It's a dream come true! Rent is now off Broadway and doing a national tour, for the last time. :( But the cast doing the tour has 2 of the original cast members: Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp! Roger and Mark! AND we might be able to go back stage because Capathia Jenkins (that sang at my dad's concert), has friends in the cast that could let us back stage!!! OMG!!!!!

If you haven't see RENT either the movie or the rock opera, you have not live and you need to see it! NOW! Sorry I am an obsessed Rent-head...


"No day but today"


-MX

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

New Pic

The new pic I just added is of an African tribal symbol for hope and below it, it says надежда. This is my Russian name (Nadezhda) written in Russian. It is also the Russian word for HOPE.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Memorial Day Weekend

I had a very nice Memorial day weekend. I spent Saturday and Sunday up in Friendship, ME where my aunt has a very large plot of land right on the beach. We didn't do much besides fish and go for walks, but it was relaxing. I also saw a video of my aunt's horses, Miss Scarlet and Mama Horse. They're living in Virgina right now at my aunt's ranch but they are coming to Maine hopefully next summer. I can't wait because I use to ride a lot and I might even take horse back riding lessons this summer. My aunt has no one else in the family to go riding with besides me, and she has already said I could come over to ride any time! And these horses are amazing. They are Tennessee walking horses, but they have a beautiful canter and they do this cool thing called a running walk so you don't have to post on them. One of them is even a registered show horse!

I also got to spend time with my mom since my sister didn't come with us and we drove up and back by ourselves. We talked a little bit, but mostly it was quiet, it was nice though. We also stopped on the way home in Freeport to go shopping. I got some nice new shirts, which is kind of funny because when we got home I went to my dad's girlfriends house and her daughter gave us all these old cloths of hers. And they were nice. She barley even wore any of them, she just needed to clean out her closet because she had to much stuff.

Then yesterday, I spent the day at my other aunt's house with my cousins, my 2 uncles, McAri, my dad, his girlfriend, and my grandmother who just got back from Florida.

And today it was back to school, sigh. But now every time I feel alone, depressed or bored at school, I just think: "Hey, I only have two more weeks of going here!"

Even with that thought I am feeling very overwhelmed, still. Not only with finals closing in on me, but with random emotion I can't describe beyond "overwhelming". Maybe I'm bipolar. i mean, one minute I feel like everything is alright and the next minute I feel like the world is closing in on me, for no reason at all! I also haven't seen my counselor since the meeting with my parents, which is making me feel anxious but I don't know why.

Yesterday I took a quiz that told me I am emotionally unstable and unable to trust people. That made me feel just great. Whatever, I also took a quiz that the fruit I am most like is a banana. What the hell is that suppose to mean, that I'm yellow? I don't even like bananas...

Peace out,



MX



P.S.

I'll be posting my theology project I wrote about the other day, if anyone is intereted.

Friday, May 22, 2009

To much to Comprehend

I need to vent, about everything. I am not complaining, I just have a lot to think about and I need to write it down. I would usually write in my journal, but I prefer typing while listening to itunes.
Oh, where to begin? The counseling meeting with my parents. I told them that I wanted to transfer schools, although I have a better appreciation for the private school I am at. My mom talked about how she just wanted the best for me and how she really thought that private school was the place for me.
I appreciate and am thankful that she wants the best for me, but I need more out of a school. Specifically music. At this point in my life I believe that I am going to get into a job that involves music. My school has the worst music program I have ever seen. That's not okay with me.And my school is a sport orientated school, and I don't do sports so that makes me kind of an outcast. I feel alone at my school, I have not connected with anyone here. The community, to me, seems very disconnected and weak. Over all: I don't feel like I belong there.
My counselor made a very good point that it is very important that I find a place where I feel where I belong, everyone does. Not knowing where I came from (being adopted) plus not knowing where I belong, is hard. It's painful and it is contributing to my depression. I can't stand being at a school that I feel sad and lost at all day.SO, my parents and me decided that the best thing to do is to try and have me go to the school where my dad teaches.It has an amazing music program, I like the community there, and I know (some way or another), I can fit in there. This is what I wanted, so why do I feel so down?
I have doubts and fears about this transition. I don't know if this new school has all the answers, and I don't expect it will. I just want to be able to feel like I belong somewhere good and that I can become the person I am meant to be tat that place. I might not have many friends, I might be bullied or shunned because my dad is a teacher, I may hate it there. I don't know. But I feel like whatever happens this is where I'm supposed to go. I don't know if I will make it in the music program (there are so many people there that are way more talented) I just want the chance to try. And I want to be able to go into school, and not feel depressed about it.
This is going to be hard on my mother too. She has tried so hard to make this private school work, but it just wasn't for me. She wanted this so badly for me. I hate to see her upset because I am transferring schools. There is also a lot of transportation and other things that she is worried about. And I understand where that is coming from, but I believe that if this is meant to happen, everything will work out.
I am feeling so anxious and confessed right now. There is too much I am trying to deal with at once. I am feeling some what sad about leaving my private school. I am going to miss my theology class and Mp. I'm already missing my friend John who is a senior and who is done with school already. I feel so anxious/ frustrated with working all the little things out for going to my dad’s school. There is going to have to be a new schedule for when I am with my mom or dad. I feel bad because my mom is afraid that "she is going to lose me" because I am going to be up at school with my dad.
There is also a lot of pressure on me in the music department. My mom wants me to be in every possible thing for music, because this is why I wanted to transfer in the first place. I want to too, but she is just stressing me out about it right now. I have to worry about getting finished with this year before I can begin to think about all the auditions I will have to go through next year.There is so much else I am feeling that I just don't know how to put in words. Scared maybe, for the transition, upset because I haven't talked to Maya4life in forever and I miss her, too. I have to worry about so much. Worried if I am making the right chose to go back to public schools along with being stressed about my school work right now.
I guess over all I am feeling overwhelmed, and that is making me feel depressed.Writing this blog and praying have helped. Actual, I don't know if praying is helping because sometimes I swear I don't believe in God, and other times I feel very spiritual. I just know that talking, asking for help from God (or who ever is up there listening when I am praying, if there is anyone listening.), is a relief. I want to believe that there is an all powerful God that has a plan for us all, and that he is up there looking out for us. I have grown up believing that. But right now when every thing is so confusing, I sometimes doubt that there is. But then again, I do believe in God and that he is good. I suppose I just feel very distance from him and my spirituality. Lately, I have been in a state of mind that just is too overwhelmed to stop and think about God and everything.
I will have to work on rebuilding my spiritual self, and I thought that my private school I am at would have helped with this, but it is just to depressing and stressful here to make a difference.
So, before I officially (like signing all the papers and stuff) leave my school, I have to shadow at my dad’s school and see if I like it. I m doing that probably the day after I am finished finals (Monday) and the Friday afterwards, is when I have to make the final decision. I also have to talk to the principal of student affairs here about why I want to leave. I am not looking forward to that. At all. I am also not looking forward to saying goodbye to Mp.
I plan to talk to him the Friday before my last final, which is right after I finish taking his final. No one is supposed to know that I am leaving my school until the last day, not even my teachers or my sister. I hate that because I don't want to have al my friends come back next year and be like: Where's Mimi? And I don't want Mp to do that either. I have to tell him how big of a help he has been to me this year and that I am going to miss him.
I am even considering giving him the URL to this blog, but we'll see. It sounds so ridiculous, but he means a lot to me for some messed up reason. I don't love him or anything, he is just special. I don't know else to describe it.
So, there is a lot that I have to think about and decide, emotions I have to over come, and goodbyes that I will have to face.
One last thing, after all the venting I just wanted to say how grateful I am that BOTH my parents are being supportive of me through all this. They are doing everything they can to make this work and to make me happy. I am so grateful for that even though sometimes I don't show them that. But I am and I love my parents no matter what school I go to.

Okay I'm done :)
MX

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Random


I know I haven't posted in a wicked long time, I've been busy. But I will have a real post posted in a few hours, just wanted to share this.
I took a quiz about what RENT character I am most like amd these are the results (on a 1-10 score, ten being I am exactly like the person) Look back at my RENT: NO DAY BUT TODAY post to see who these characters are, if you don't know.

Over all I am: Collins - 8
Mimi - 7
Maureen - 6
Angel - 6
Roger - 6
Mark - 5
Joanne - 5

MX

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I am finally going to write a post...WOW!!

*I wrote this a couple days ago, but am just getting around to posting it.*

I didn't go to school today because I had a sore throat and a fever, so I thought I'd finally sit down and write a blog because I have nothing better to do. Okay, so yesterday I told my friend I was going to pretend to be sick and skip school today, and low and behold, I did skip school! But it was because I was actually sick and might have strep throat. Great! *Insert sigh here* Everybody has a sore throat, it's weird. My cousin stayed home today because her throat hurt. (My uncle thinks we are faking it because we were on our laptops all day, but what else we are suppose to do. Besides it's really hard to fake swollen glands.) My friend who was in the play with me has also been out of school for 3 days because of her throat. We think that our bodies were being nice to us for waiting till after the play was over to get sick, but now we are going to get sick for an even longer time. That's our theory anyway. We also have a theory that science was made to make smart people look like idiots, but that's a completely different story.

So, yeah. I love sick days. I get to sleep in till 1:00, which I did. You get to stay in you pajamas all day and watch movies. It is just the yeah "sick" part of it that sucks. and then you have to make up all that school work. But if I can stay home again tomorrow I can get all my missed work on Friday and make it all up over the weekend. I could call someone for my assignments, but I don't have any school books with me. Figures.

Anywhoo, enough about me being sick. So, Vacation and drama has come and gone since the last time I wrote. Vacation was a bore. We just hung out at home and with friends/ family. That was nice and all, but nothing exciting to write about. Then there was our musical. Boy was that an interesting production! First of all, here is the synopsis of Starmites (the show we did):

Eleanor, a shy teenager, collects science fiction comic books. To avoid growing pains, she imagines herself as a superheroine, such as in the comic books ("Superhero girl"). In her fantasy, she becomes involved in the conflict between the evil Shak Graa and the Starmites, guardian angels of Innerspace. The 'Mites believe that Eleanor is pre-ordained to save the universe from destruction ("Starmites"). Eleanor and the Starmites seek "The Cruelty," a powerful musical instrument, which they must find before it falls into the hands of Shak Graa ("Afraid of the Dark").
In Shreikwood forest, Eleanor sings a soothing earthly lullaby ("Little Hero"), but winged women (that's me, but we weren't winged) kidnap the sleeping 'Mites ("Attack of the Banshees") and soon meet Diva, the Queen of the Banshees ("Hard to Be a Diva"). She wants one of the Starmites to wed her daughter Bizarbara. She also guards The Cruelty. The leader of the 'Mites, Space Punk, and Eleanor are becoming attracted to each other ("Love Duet"), but Bizarbara also falls in love with Space Punk. He agrees to marry Diva's daughter to save his companions from torture ("Bizarbara's Wedding") but changes his mind, unable to betray his love for Eleanor ("Milady").
Diva uses magic to disguise Bizarbara as Eleanor ("Beauty Within"), and at the wedding ceremony between Punk and "Eleanor", Trinkulus, the Starmite lizard mascot, plays The Cruelty, which casts a hypnotic spell ("The Cruelty Stomp"). Shak Graa seizes the Cruelty and prepares to sacrifice Bizarbara (who he believes to be Eleanor), which will enable him to become Master of Earth. Diva then joins forces with the real Eleanor and the Starmites to rescue Bizarbara ("Reach Right Down"). Bizarbara is willing to sacrifice herself to save the Earth. Eleanor, the wounded Space Punk and the Starmites battle and destroy Shak Graa ("Immolation"). It turns out that Eleanor is Diva's real daughter, the legendary Milady. Bizarbara finds her birth mother on Earth, and harmony is restored. Shak Graa, however, has escaped to Earth, leaving one loose end ("It Wasn't a Dream").

I hate that ending, it is sooo dumb.

So not much going on at school either. We have three weeks left including finals. I can't believe a year went by so fast, it's kind of sad. But I can't wait to be done with school, stress, hw, and everything else. But there are new stresses that come with the summer: finding a job (possibly at grocery store), finding time to do the things I want to, like going horse back riding and going to Canada. (which I might not be able to do because you need a stupid pass port starting in July to get back in to the US. I don't have a passport, btw. Well I have my Russian one from when I was a baby, plus it has my sisters pic on it because they messed it up) And then there is next year...

We (mom, dad, me) with my therapist yesterday. It was just to be able to get our perspectives out about the school I'm at and where i want to be. My therapist thinks that being at the school I am at is contributing a lot to my depression because I fell like I don't belong there. We talked about a lot, heard each other and talked about what is going to happen next year.

WE have an idea about what's going to happen, but I am I can't really ummm...expose I guess that info yet. Sorry. I will let you all know what is going on a soon as I can.

For now, I am just going to try....really, really hard, to get through all the test projects, and finals that
await me.
Till next time (which will be sooner then last time, I promise)

MX

P.S.
If any of you have any good quotes and/or songs that are motivational, spiritual, inspirational, ect... leave me a comment. I'd love to hear what they are because I am doing a Theology project that includes songs/ quotes that you have to reflect upon. I haven't found anything that has really "spoken" to me, so any ideas would be great!

Monday, April 20, 2009

That Just Made My Day (Which is Very Boring, BTW)

It is now the third day of vk and we have done nothing but clean. Cleaned the house, cleaned the basement, and cleaned my chinchilla's cages. Fun stuff, not. Oh well, I think my mom is going to pay us for our help, which is good.
We haven't done much this weekend because my mom is busy working on a term paper for a class she is taking online. I mean, she is really working hard on this thing. All. Day. Long. You should see this, our dinning room table is covered with notes and books. She has also put a ton of sticky notes on the wall in front of the table so she can look at them when she is writing. I find this funny! I don't understand why she is taking classes online to get a maters degree in New England history. She already has a teaching degree, but whatever. If that is what she wants to do, that's cool with me.
Anywho, Maya4Life just called me and told me that she just went to the doctors for her ADD. And guess who she saw? None other then Dr. B, my psychiatrist! Now this just cracked me up. She told me that she thought she knew him, and then she told me his name and I couldn't stop laughing! And this was all happening in the grocery store, people were giving me funny looks! (When don't they? Lol.)
Ahh, the things that amuse me...
I think I'll go read,

Peace out,
MX

Saturday, April 18, 2009

More Phone Posts=FUN!

Yeah know, this is really entertaining writing a blog post from my phone. And it doesn't cost anything because I have free texting, and I have a full keyboard on my phone, sweet! I don't have much to write, like I said before: this is fun! Anyway, today is the first day of vk! And guess what I'm doing? Well, I just cleaned out my basement and now I have to do my bedroom. And I still have to box up all the trash from the basement to bring to the dump. I am so jealous, my sister is baby sitting and she always gets a ton of cash for it! I need a job, and money. I think i am going to work at Hannaford's this summer but I would really like getting some baby sitting gigs.
Anyway, off to do more cleaning!
MX

Phone Post!!!!

I just wanted to see if this worked because i am posting this from my phone! So cool! :)
(Hope this doesn't cost me anything...)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Me And My Technology

I love computers, I love my ipod, and I absolutely LOVE my cell. But these things don't always love me back. (Duh, there electronics!) What I mean is, they don't like to work for me. Don't get me wrong, I rock at using them. I am the queen of downloading stuff and surfing the net, making slide shows, etc. But when this stuff actually matters and I actually need those skills, my electronics die on me.

It all started last year when I cracked the screen of my brand new cell. I dropped it on the ice, oops! Then I cracked my laptop screen by leaving it the locker room during track practice. I think someone stepped on it, so technically that wasn't my fault. But I stilled had to pay the $500 to fix it. (I still owe my dad that money, considering I don't have a job.)

Now, today I haven't broken anything, yet. So, I made this awesome slide show on Mars for class and I emailed it to my teacher to present. He couldn't download it. then I tried putting it on a thumb drive to download. Still nothing. Then I finally gt my mom to let me bring the laptop I got for Christmas into school to present my project. I was extra careful with that, because I think I would die if I broke yet another computer.

So, when my turn came to present everything was all loaded and ready to go. As soon as plugged in the projector, the frigging slide show program FAILED!!!!! I WAS NOT PLEASED. I mean my project was already a day late and I was the last one to present. And did I mention that E, my total jerk of a crush, was sitting in the front row, laughing the whole time?? I know he means well and it was kind funny, but I was totally PMS-ing and was Po'ed as hell. Not even my teacher could get the dumb computer to work. Thank God I was smart enough to print out the entire slide show last night. SO, I presented it that way, with paper slides. :( It would have been so much cooler on the computer, I had sound and animation and everything...

Story of my life: when something actually matters, it doesn't happen for me



Ughh, there's always next time...At least the laptop is still in one piece. It is safely locked in my teachers room, so it should stay that way...Hopefully



MX

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Therapy+Drama+Books+School=My Life

My life consists of the following things lately: therapy (once a week), drama (everyday after school), school (half my days right there), and books ( I can't get enough of them lately).
First of all, I had therapy yesterday. It was mostly Dr.S talking because I don't know her well enough yet to spill my guts out to her. She talked about ways to help me sleep better and I guess I did tell her a little bit about the whole high school battle. After talking about it with my dad yesterday, I seriously want to switch schools. I mean the school I'm at is great and I gave it my best shot, but I need something different in a school. Sure I'll miss my friends and Mp, but I can always keep in touch with them. And if you take the whole religion thing out, I would hate my school. So I have made up my mind about next year, now all I need to do is tell my mom...oh boy...

On the sunny side of life, drama is going great. This show might actually be better then what I thought it would be. And I'm having so much fun with all my drama buddies every day after school. Although, my home work is piling up. But also on the sunny side of life, I straight A's again!!!!

As for books, well I don't know, I just want to read all the time now. I use to read a bunch in 5th and 6th grade, but then I just got to busy. But now I am reading three different books: Glass. Which is about a drug addict mother who is 18 years old. It's a true story about the authors daughter. The Presidents Daughter. This one is about a girl who's mother is a senator who is running for president and she is going to win. I got this book for Christmas, and only now getting to read it, but I'm loving it! The Musician's daughter. This book takes place in the 1800's in Vienna. It is about this violinist who was murdered and his priceless violin was stolen. His 15 year old daughter is trying to figure out what happened to him while dealing with her younger brother and pregnant mother. She also has to make a living for them all by writing for music of a famous compser who is going blind. I love books!

Easter went well also. I got Twilight the movie!! I was so happy. I <3 Edward!

I hope everyone is well and reading a good book, lol!

Mx

Friday, April 10, 2009

Update on Life

I know, it's been awhile since I last posted. I have been incredibly busy trying to keep up with school, drama, friends, and counseling. But I have no school today because it is Good Friday and I go to a Catholic school. That's one good thing about my school, we don't have school only really important holy days. I always thought it was ironic that today is called Good Friday because it is the day that Jesus died. I don't think that's that good, just depressing. But Mp explained to me that it is good because Jesus died for us.

Okay, theology lesson of the day is over...so, life lately, where do I begin? Well, first of all the musical is coming along very productively despite the cheesiness of the show. We have had rehearsals almost every day for 2-3 hours. Trust me, if you want to be in a production, you have no life. But that's okay because drama people are they are so funny and nice to hang with, plus those are my friends!

Schools...well, school. At least I have almost all A's! I was excited when my science teacher told me I got a 95 on his test (I usually get like 70's) and that he added the grade in twice to help bring up my average. I like him a whole bunch better now. But mostly school is boring besides theology class. Which has gotten strange lately. Mp asked me the other day about my moods lately and if I was talking to any one about where I was gthat going to go to school next year. Some how (IDK how, he is just talented like this) he got me to tell him about me seeing a therapist and taking medication for depression. He didn't seemed at all surprised about this (is it really that obvious?) and he told me if I needed to talk about anything, he was there for me. Aww, he is so nice to me! How am I ever going to be able to leave my school now?? (I don't know if I am going to transfer schools next year, but my therapist thinks I should)
Mp was also asking me what was going on with E. Nothing is going on with E and me (hehe, that rhymes) and that is frustrating. We are just friends and I think that's all we're ever going to be. I am over him...I think. I mean I still really like him, but I am moving on because there are plenty of fishes in the sea...
As for my medication. <3! It is really helping. Late after noon and evenings are hard though because that is when the Zoloft starts wearing off. But right after I take them I feel great, then they mellow down a bit. Sleeping is still a problem because I have a wicked hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Dr. S said she can help me with that. I didn't know therapy could help sleeping patterns...I don't get headaches as often, but I still get them some times.
Oh yeah! Last weekend, I wen to Boston with my dad's girlfriend (L) and her son (BeatBoxerBoy) to see her daughters musical at her collage. (I'll call L's daughter L2 and she is 18) We had so much fun!!!! driving down I just listen to music and laughed at BeatBoxerBoy (he is 21), he is hilarious! We stayed in a nice hotel suit and we swam in the pool. We got a tour of Stone Hill collage. Nice Jesuit school, small but nice. And L2's dorm was so cool although it was a triple. We saw her preform in the musical Aspects of Love. She was the lead role, and boy did she kiss a lot of people! (She was great anyway.) It was a well done show, and much better than she said it would be.
We might go back to Boston over April Vk, I am so excited!

Happy Easter (weekend) everyone!

MX

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Doctors

I went to my first therapy/ counseling session on Monday. Dr. S is nice, she seemed like she knew what she was doing and hopefully she will be able to help me. Apparently, I need to see a therapist along w/ taking medication because medication changes chemicals in my brain to feel better, but therapy helps change the way I think. That makes sense to me.

I also went to the orthodontist yesterday and I have to get a cemented palate expander and then, spacers, then braces (top and bottom), and then possibly I have t get 2 teeth pulled. This is going to be painful, on both my mouth and my parents wallet.

Doctor appointments are fun!
MX

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Zoloft

I did some research about this medicine my doc put me on. These are the side effects of the antidepressant I forgot to mention yesterday (my doctor told me about them, I just totally forgot about them.): dizziness, headaches, nausea right after a dose, insomnia, feeling jittery. I have a headache and I didn't sleep lat night. I don't know if it's the zolofts fault, but for now I'm saying it is. Uhhh. And emotionally? Not much yet, it will take a couple weeks. But last night it totally calmed my mind before I went to bed so I wasn't up thinking depressing thoughts. I hate that I can get some of the side effects from the medicine just hours after the first dose, but it can take anywhere between 1-8 weeks for it to actually start doing what it is suppose to do for me emotionally. And I feel like a druggie. Taking zoloft and ibuprofen for headaches every other hour. My friends have noticed this too.

Oh well, the side affects are more noticeable during the first couple of days on the medication, so they won't be as bad in couple days. This is some other info about zoloft I found (for all of you that are so fascinated with the anatomy of antidepressants): Zoloft is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which works by increasing the amount of serotonin, a neurotransmitter found in the brain. AKA the medicine increases some chemical stuff in my brain so I stay happy and don't think about depressing emotions. Also, zoloft is used to treat OCD and anxiety.

Fun Stuff right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Shrink Has An Earing

This weekended wasn't as stressful as I made it out to be. The concert went well and drama wasn't so long. But I am still doomed to fail that test on The Odyssey I have after lunch. I probably should be studying for that right now, but oh well.

So, I went to the psychiatrist just a half hour ago. Dr. B is very nice. He has a white beard and a long white pony tail. And he has an earring. Seriously? This is my shrink, the guy who can give me medication and who is suppose to understand how I feel? Really? Yes, really and he was very easy to talk to. He asked questions, I answered, and that was pretty much it. He asked m to tell him a little about my self and we talked (very comfortably I may add.) Then he diagnosed me with depression. Well, actually he didn't say that but he prescribed antidepressants, so I am guessing his official diagnosis is depression.

Yes, antidepressants, God only knows if they work. But DB insisted they will, so I'm gunna take them. I also had to agree to go to counseling to take the meds. At least these meds don't have really bad side affects. Only headaches, yeah like the ones I already get EVERY DAY! oh well, with a bottle of ibuprofen I should be all good. Haha, I got junior ibuprofen at the store. You know, the one that says for ages 6-11 on the front in big red letters? Yeah, that is what I got.
I swear, I'm losing it. I'm to young for that...

MX

Friday, March 20, 2009

This Weekened

I have such a busy weekend to look forward to! Eww.

Friday-Rehearsal for the musical for an hour after school. Then I'm working at fashion show at my school with my mom. Not what I wanted to do, but my sister is going so if I didn't, that would be strange.



Saturday-Studying for tests on Monday and reading my theology book. I think I have to babysit for awhile. Then I am going to see a production of West Side Story at another high school in the district. Best part f the weekend. Best part of life! Well, music and musicals that is.



Sunday-Church. Rehearsal for like 3 hours. Choir concert at my church. Then I am directing the Stations of the Cross at my church. To much time at church.



Monday-Doctors, psychiatrist, shrink, whatever you wanna call it. I am not looking forward to this. It makes me feel anxious thinking about telling a random person all the crap I feel.

AT least I know I am not alone. My friend from school was just diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Us depressed people have to stick together. lol!

Yeppp, Life is fun :) (that is partly sarcastic, partly not)



MX

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Back To My Blog...

I really don't do well writing/ reading blogs. I once kept a journal when I was in 5th grade and I managed to write in it every day until I was in 7th grade. I was very proud of myself, even though my journal entries weren't very interesting. I now write in my journal once a month or so. But I guess I do a little better with this blogging thing.

Not much has happened since I last wrote. (What's new?) Lets see what happened...I went to see a movie. (Slumdog Millionaire, very good btw) I went over Maya4Life's house. We made cookies, and pancakes, and nachos. (We didn't eat every thing, just fyi. We just enjoy cooking when no one will take us to the mall.) Then we went for a really long walk. I went to church. I slept. Oh yeah, and I had a fight with my mom.

Fun stuff right? Not so much. So, I had yet another fight with my mom. About school. Of course. When it come s to school, we do not agree. I keep telling her I need to go to a better school for music because that's what I want to do with my life. I told her I want to transfer to the school where my dad works, still. She said it wasn't happening. (BTW, they cut half the music teachers at my dad's school, so I don't know how much better the music is at my dad's school verse mine.) Then, somehow we got to how ungrateful and mean I am to my mom. I went to my room.I cried. I wouldn't talk to my mom. She apologized. I was still upset with her for so many things she didn't even understand. I told her that. She was very confused about how was acting, So I let her read one of my journal entries.

It was the one I had written the night before. It was about how depressed and angry and guilty I felt. It was about how I felt Ike I couldn't talk to anyone about this because no one understood. It was very emo, I have to say. But it was true. She called my doctor the next day. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next Monday. She thinks I am depressed. She wants to get me a counselor and medication. And ya know what, I actually agree with her for once.

I do feel depressed, I don't want to, but no mater what I do I still feel the same way. I don't know when this started and I don't know why, but I am taking steps to stop it before it takes over. Well takes over anymore then it already has.

Anyway...yep that's all that happened. I have such a interesting life, don't you think? lol.

Till next time...

MX

Friday, March 6, 2009

Life Lately *I need to come up with better titles*

So, I finally decide to write a blog when I should be attempting to understand my unfinished science homework. Well, actually I can't really do that because apparently our librarian is being the mean witch (with a b, lol) that she is and won't let anyone in the library. Oh, well.

Honestly, not much has happened since the last time I wrote. Things have been pretty sucky lately. Well, emotionally they have been. I mean I am doing well in school (I finally have all a's and one b), I tried out for the musical (which I feel pretty good about), and it's Friday. But, I just don't feel like myself. It's been another one of those "depressed feelings" week. And me and my mom have NOT been getting along. We fight about EVERYTHING!!!! The most resent fight we had was the following:
Mom: "You talk to yourself to much"
Me: "No, I'm talking to you, your just not listening."
I am not making that up. I think it is mostly my fault, because I can be very mean to her. I try really hard not to be, but sometimes I just feel so angry for no reason at all, especially at her.

But anyway, I turned 15 on Monday, and I had a snow day too! I am old enough to take drivers ed!! WOW, not that my mom will let me take it. Ugh. But just knowing I could is very satisfying. And I am also older than E now, which is very amusing to me. And I totally got the sound track to Sweeney Todd (The Demon Barber of Fleet Street) for my bday (along with some cash and some other stuff.) I love that musical now. We saw it about a week ago, and now I'm like obsessed with it. Mostly because Johny Depp is in the movie version of it (he sings very well in it, btw.) Oh, and my dad's old student teacher (DJ) played Sweeney Todd in the Broadway national tour. (That is the production we saw.) He was so amazingly good for the part! This musical is such a dark one, yet the music in it is great! I think it is in my fav five for musicals now.

Oh yeah, I think I mentioned this but I audition for the spring musical. The production we are doing is Starmites!, which is about a girl who is obsessed with comic books and goes into the comic book world and becomes the super hero in it. Strange, I know. I don't understand why our director has to pick such strange plays/musicals. I mean, for the one act he picked a play called Asylum. I think the name pretty much gives away the weirdness of it. At least this musical has a lot of lead and minor roles.

Anyway, that's all that's really happened lately in The Life and Times of MimiX. Write again when something interesting happens...
MX

Sunday, February 22, 2009

NewYorkCity

I just got back from my third home literally 30 minutes ago. (Btw: Russia is my first home, Maine is my second, and Manhattan, New York is my third.) I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!! I can't believe I am home, I just wanted to stay in the city. I feel like I belong there, it is such an incredible place and I can't wait to live there.

I just want to get off topic for a sec and tell you all what I want to do when I am older. I am going to NYU and I am going to live in a loft apartment in Alphabet city with Maya4Life. I am going to get a degree in music education and one in Preforming arts/ Musical theater. During my summer break I am going to work at the Stardust Diner (it is a restaurant were the waiters are Broadway stars to be who sing to you) When I graduate I am going to attempt to become an actress on Broadway (which is very unlikely) and if that doesn't go anywhere, I am going to be a high school music teacher or professor. That is what I want to do with my life. IDK if that is how things will work out, but I can still dream.

Anyway, back to my amazing trip to the city. I first went to NYC when I was 5 or 6 years old and I have gone practically every year since then, usually for thanksgiving. Out of all the trips I have taken to the city, this has been one of the best. I went with my dad, his girlfriend, and McAri.

On Friday we started driving to Connecticut at 6 and we took a train from there to NYC. We got into the city at about 2:15 and we checked into our hotel, which was very nice. After words, we went out to lunch at a burger place. Then we went to the NBC store. I love this store because it is huge and it has a amazing candy section and not to mention all the House md stuff they have. I totally got a magnet with Hugh Laurie's face on it. At 4 we went on the NBC Studio tour. We saw the SNL studio and the sound/ makeup rooms. It was cool to see the studios, but we didn't get to see as much because most of the studios were being used. That's okay because it was fun anyway. After that, we went shopping!!!! I spent all my cash in like an hour. I got some Roxy shirts, earrings, and I bought the official script of RENT.

The next thing we did was is one of my favorite things to do in NYC: Madame Tussuad's wax museum! It was really cool, I have been there before, but they have gotten some new figures. My favorites were Obama, the Jonas Brothers, Rachel Ray, and Johnny Depp. They all look so really! (Well, not Brad Pitt, he looked strange.) There is also a hall of terrors kinda exhibit, but the thing that is really scary about it is that not all the figures are wax. There are people dressed up as wax figures and the jump out at you!!! I started walking in this hallway, and I walked right back out. I was so freaked out! I love scary movies and all but things jumping out at me, no thanks.

After Madame's we went to a Mexican restaurant and then just walked around time square. Time Square is my all time favorite part of NYC. I am just in love with all the lights, people, sounds, and smells. It is so fabulous there, and I wish I could have spent all night there with all the people and sights, but we we're in our hotel (asleep) at 10:30

END OF DAY I

The next morning we all got up at about 8:00 and then we went out to breakfast. I had a bagel. NY Bagels are the best in the world. IDK why, but they have the best cream cheese and they cut them differently and they are just better in NY than they are in Maine. (What isn't? lOl) After we just went to different stores. We went to souvenir shops and the Broadway store. We also went to FAO Schwartz, which is like the coolest toy store I have ever been to. Then we went to St. Patrick's for mass. (I think we have done this every time we have been to NY.) After mass, we went to the Stardust Diner. It is such an cute little restaurant, and they had some really good singing waiters/ waitresses! Then we just kinda walked around, went to some more stores, and hung out in time square. I know it doesn't sound all that exciting, but believe me just walking around in the big apple is fun. There are so many things to see and so many different stores too! Finally, at like 4:00 my dad let me and McAri walk around by ourselves!!! Well, technically we were only allowed to stay on fifth avenue and the street where our hotel was, but still. It was really fun and we did a lot more shopping in places like H&M and Abrecrombie. I got an awesome hat and we also bought our dad some ties and chocolate (at the M&M World store) for his b-day, which was on Friday. Then we went back to the hotel for dinner. It was a nice three course meal and is was technically our dads b-day diner.

After dinner, we got a cab to bring us to Starbucks where we meet up with Capathia Jenkins. (She is the Broadway star that sang at my dads Christmas concert this year.) She is so nice and it was nice to see her again. We talked to her for awhile, then we walked down to the theater where Mary Poppins was playing. OMG, Mary Poppins was SO good! The special effects were amazing; there were people flying over the audience and dancing o n the walls/ ceilings! The music was great and the dancing was even better!! The kids in it where so good and the musical is way better than the movie by far. It is one of the best musicals I have seen on Broadway!

After the musical we went out for drinks, then we went back to our hotel. I wasn't in bed till about midnight.

END OF DAY II

The next morning we got up early and went to Rockefeller plaza where they shoot the Today Show, and we totally where on the news! We were standing right behind the news lady and they showed a close up of me, my dad, McAri, and my dads girlfriend! It was so cool, to bad no one was awake to us besides my mom and my grandmother. Oh well. We went back to the hotel to pack after that, and we were on the train leaving Grand Central Station at 10:00. Then there was a long drive home in the rain after that.

Now I am home and so missing New York City so much, but it was a great trip! I am already planning my next trip to the city for my 16 b-day with Maya4Life.

That's all for now! Peace out,

MxMissingNyC

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

B-Ball and a Movie

Today I went to the movies with Em. We saw He's Just Not that Into you. (Story of my life, right?) It was really funny; such a chick flick. This is the first time me and Em have hung out outside of school, and I think we really had a good time. She likes all the same movies, books, etc.. that I do. And she makes me laugh! (In a good way!) Then we went to the Bball game. We meet up wit ha bunch of other people there. It is soo good to have friends to sit with!

It was weird, tonight I actually felt like I fit in with these people. I also got really into the game. Usually I wouldn't pay attention to what was going on, but since Em plays Bball she was explaining everything to me. There were some intense plays. It was a close game, but my school was never in the lead and we lost 41 to 47. Oh well, it was fun anyway!

After the game we had to walk a little bit to meet Em's dad and it was fun because I love walking around downtown. It was snowing and was really pretty the way all the stores were lit up with Valentine hearts and decorations. I am so thankful to be living in such a beautiful city and to have such great friends!

:)
MX

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Crazy, Amazing, Weird, Strange and Just Plain Great Friends

Ahhh, my friends are so amazingly funny and incredible! I'm talking about Katyia in particular because I just came back from her house. (I still love you though Maya4Life!) What a day (well two days) we (me and McAri) have had with Katyia! I love hanging out with her because I feel like we know each other really well and we feel so comfortable around each other, all though we don't see each other that often. I don't know if it is because we are all Russian, but there is a connection thing going on... (oooo, Scary, lol!)


We all have nicknames between the three of us. They are basically just variations of our middle names which happen to be out Russian names. McAri is Vera, Katyia is Ekaterina, and I'm one of the following: Nadezhda, Nadia, Nastia, or Nezzie. It's usually Nezzie although I prefer Nadia or Nastia. It's funny cuz we are the only ones that call each other by our Russian names, it's refreshing. Well, McAri doesn't like the name Vera so we usually just call her Ari.


So, what did we do with Katyia? Good question, I don't really know. We just kinda hung out at her house and watched movies and talked. She also painted my nails this awesome purple/ green color. We did eventually go to the movies. We saw Coraline, it was soo weird but good at the same time. I don't understand how it could be so creepy and ad normal, yet it's a kids movie! Oh yeah, and today we went to our neighborhood Jokers! Fun for ages 1 to 92, but I think we we're a little old for that. I mean it was fun and it was out idea, but people looked at us strangely! (what's new?) I swear, if we saw anyone we knew there, they would have thought we were drunk! We weren't, don't worry. We we're just happy and way to hyper. I think it was all that candy we bought that Katyias's mom told us not to get. She was kinda Po'ed that we did. It was so worth it though!



We just have so much fun together, and it is really sad when we had to go home! But when we did get home, Maya called me. I haven't talked to her for awhile so it was nice to hear her voice again. I use to see her everyday last year cuz we went to the same school, so I am still adjusting to seeing her once a week, it is strange. Oh, oh, oh!!! OMG, E is talking (technically texting) me again. He was so ignoring me for the last month. It had something to do with Mp, but I don't know. I guess he is confused about how I feel about Mp, well that's what he told Ari. (Yes, he is talking to my sis on facebook and somehow she got his number, so they are texting as well. I am not amused. But at least I know she doesn't' like him, I hope she doesn't.) How I feel about Mp? Well, I feel that he has a been a BIG help in my school life, my life in general. Saying he is a mentor would be the best way to describe it.

That's all for now!

MX


P.S.
I love My friends!!!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Day Two of VK

Today, we cleaned. The. whole. entire. HOUSE. Actually, it's an apartment, but w/e. I also attempted to watch Harry Potter, but my DVD was being stupid, so that didn't last long.
I get to go to Katyis's house 2morow!! I can't wait to see her again. We don't see her a lot, but I did get to see her last month and she was my roommate at summer camp last year. She is so fun to hang out with; she is so funny and I feel really comfortable around her. I don't even know what we do at her house, but we always find something to do. I think a lot of it involves watching movies and talking about boys.
Also, on Wednesday I made plans with my Em, my other friend from school. We are going to see a movie then we are going to a bball game. (I don't really want to go to the game, but I have nothing else to do and there is also also a very good chance that MP will be there, not that I'm stalking him or anything. lol. Ya know, people still make fun of me for going on a "date" with him. Actually we had another "date" planned for the last bball game, but he tickets were sold out. Gosh, what am I going to do once basket ball is over? Well, there is always softball. He's the coach of the freshman team. He wants me to play. Ya, me, softball, no. In his dreams. I bet it is too...JK!)
Anyway, enough about my wicked nice theology teacher who is engaged and way older then me. I mean he is not really old, just old for a 14 (almost 15) year old like myself. By the way. saying that siting at a basket ball game with him was a date, was his all him. Just thought I'd throw that in for all of you are who are like" God, she's dating a teacher!" And he was just being nice since he knew I was having a hard time for all of all thinking: "Creeper!"
ANYWAY, done talking about him (for now...) Here is the lyrics to a song that I have named the song of my life:
Don't Let Me Get Me (Pink)
Never win first place,
I dont support the team
I cant take direction, and my socks are never clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I cant do nothin Right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I cant take the person starin back at meIm a hazard to myself
Dont let me get meIm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Dont wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Yeah, well actually this is the song that Maya4Life used to describe me about a year ago. But I've changed since then, yet some parts of me haven't. (Like dating teachers, lol. AND winning first place, yeah that hasn't happened. Ever.)

MX

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Vacation and Valentines Day

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!! (SAD, better known to the average American as Valentines Day) Hey, but to the average American teen with no boyfriend, it's singles awareness day. I had a nice day, I went out to lunch with my dad and his girlfriend then we just drove around.My sis is babysitting all day. (Lucky, she'll probably get a bunch of cash that she'll blow at the mall in like ten minutes at Areopostle) Now I am semi-watching Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (ya know, the sketchy one with Johnny Depp in it. I have to say I prefer him in Pirates of the Caribbean.) Oh, today is also the first day of VK!!! I am headed to NYC on Friday! I am so excited, I am going on a major shopping spree and we are going to see Mary Poppins.
I am also hanging out wit my friends from school this is week, which is funny cuz according to my mom, I have no friends. Wasn't she surprised when we went to the bball game on Wnsday and she meet half of the school, who I happen to be friends, (I wonder if they still wanna be friends with me after meeting her.) I love you and all mama, but geez why do you have to say things like "I am so glad to see you have a friend!" I am not incapable of making friends, thank-you very much. Just because I don't invite them over all the time like McAri (sister), that doesn't mean I don't have them.
Anyway, so that is all I am doing this week and fixing up my essay on St. Augstine. My teacher said it was very well writen and could possibly be a finalist in the National History day project fair.
So, yeah that's all for now. I should have some interesting posts on NYC and going to my friend, Katyia's house. (She was adopted from the same orphanage as me and we have been friends forever.)
Have a nice Valentines (or Singles awareness) day everyone! <3
MX

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Acceptance

This is a random and quick post, I know. Well, I have decided to but a sweat shirt with my school's logo on it. I have no idea what possessed me to do this, but I am going to us the money from my old math book (which I sold back to the book store at school) to by something that actually will say that I go o the school I go to. Actually, I do. And it was Mp. Is it at all possible for one person to change your whole perspective on something? Well, Mp has. I don't know how, but he has made me actually like and appreciate my school. I am actually happy (mostly) here. That is something that I never thought I would say, or write. (I won't say it, not aloud.) My life at school is no where near perfect, but it is satisfactory. If you read some of my first post, you will see that I HATED this school. Now, I have accepted it....maybe even stared to really like it...
Wow, that is never what I planed on, but yet this is what is happening.
Maybe I do belong here....
That still is a maybe, isn't it??

A very confused MX

At School

OMG!!! I know for sure that 2 people actually read my blog!!! Thank you guyz! Maya4Life would read my blog too, but her mom kind of banned her from the blogging world. It's a long story that I don't really want to retell. Anyway, I am at school right now. Hence the tittle of this post. And, yes I am using my only free period of the week to blog!!! Now that is what I call procrastination at it's best! I swear, facebook and blogger are the ultimate time consumers.


Not much going on today. I got in an debate with my new math teacher about his method on solving equations. His way is probably better, I just feel more comfortable doing things the way I learned them. He doesn't care, I have to do things his way. I also got info for my research paper. Now I just have to take notes on them...I hate taking notes. But that is the one thing they actually taught us how to do in middle school, how to take good notes and how to write a good lab report.


There is three more weeks till I go to NYC!!!! So excited! We are going to see Mary Poppins. I don't really care for the movie, but the musical is suppose to be better. After we get back from NYC we are going to see Sweeney Todd. One of my dad's old student teachers is playing Sweeney Todd. Oh and on Friday I am going to see A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum.


I swear I spend way to many Fridays at the theater, seeing movies and musicals. I also spend way to many Fridays with my mom. Which is weird, because we don't really get along all that great. I mean, when I was younger we did, but now we just don't get along. But we try really, really hard to not get in an argument when we spend time together. We have been hanging out together more often. I don't mind spending time with her, but I mean there is usually things I would rather be doing. I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore and I just find it harder to talk to her than it use to be.



Anyway, tomorrow is purple and gold day at our school. It is our spirit week this week in honor of Catholic Schools Week. So, we are allowed to wear our school colors (purple and gold) tomorrow instead of our uniforms. The thing is, I don't own any purple, gold or yellow clothing items. I have one purple top that is a halter top, which I highly doubt I am allowed to wear. Mp is not going to be happy if I don't have any school spirit tomorrow. He knows I would rather be at a different high school and that I don't own any purple or gold. ( I told him this at the basketball game.) But I said I would get something that is school colors or that says the school name on it, but I haven't. It wasn't really a promise, but I feel bad for saying I would do something but then I didn't do it. I also sort of, kinda, maybe want to show some school spirit. This school is starting to rub off on me. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing, all I know is that it makes me even more confused about the whole transferring thing.

One last thing I have to say today: I really hate going to the same thing as my cousin. He is in my grade and on the football team. And who am I in the social scene? I am nobody. I hate how people are so astonished by the fact that me, the social outcast with no set clique, is related to the popular football player. Yeah, well I am and people need to get over that. And he doesn't treat me the same way he does if we are at a family party or something. He acts as if he is better than me. I know sometimes he is kidding, but geez it is still not funny. I am also being compared to him when it comes to school by my grandmother. I don't like being compared to people, it makes me feel bad. Also, his mother is obviously my aunt, but she also works at my sisters school. SO she has two people who tell her all about what is going on in my life. Which is none of her business, btw. (I never got along with her. It could be very obvious and scientifically proven that a table is wooden and she could tell me that, but I would still argue that the table was metal. She says black, I say white. It is part of my natural charm, lol)

Okay done venting about that. That's all for now in The Life and Times of MimiX, thanks for reading!

MX

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snowday, Definitley Needed

When I wake up to my ring tone (Misery Business by Paramore) alerting me that I have a new text message at 5:15 in the morning, I know that it is going to be a snow day. I signed up for the weather channel's snow cancellation alert thing. And low and behold, SNOW DAY! (These arw seriously the most holy words to all high school students.)
I so needed today off. For any of you that have been reading my blog for the last few days, I am sure you can agree with that. I have been feeling down, and the stress of school just makes that even worse.
So, I got to sleep in today. I also made cookies. I kind of burnt them , but they are still good. I also got to work on my 5 page research paper on St. Augustine for the national history day project. He is actually a fairly interesting person to research. I chose him very randomly. I saw his name on the options for topics and I saw him lat week in my theology book, so I chose him. And nobody else wants to do a saint so I thought I'd be the one who did. I don't try to fit in with the crowd because I think that God has made it very obvious that I was born to stand out. No harm in that no is there?
Now, for my amazing midterm results...
Math- Okay this is bad, please don't judge...57% ewwww!! Hey, but I switched my math class so I am no longer in honors. The non-honors course is so easy! I am sure to get an A in this class.
Science- Also very, very bad...D-. But I still have a B in that class and my teacher says this grade isn't very uncommon among freshmen in physical science honors.
History- A-, this is very good considering how hard his tests are.
English- A- as well, very good my teacher said. I thought so too.
French- A, I rock at french, not to brag!
And I always save the bect for last: Theology- I got a 100%! I think it is because I like this class the best, and it is a very easy subject if you pay attention in class and study.
So, over all, midterms were good. Well, besides for math and science, but I suppose there is always time for improvement.
OMG! I am going to NYC for February break! I am so excited! I love New York, I can't wait to move there someday. Now I have something to look forward to on those days when the school work seems never to end.
That's all for now. I am going back to enjoy my day off from school and stress.
Peace,
MX

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Dolphins of My Life

Today was better, in a way. I feel better, but those feelings are still there. They are just hidden, for now. I just need to try to look at the positives in life...

Like those people in my life who have made me smile when I am down. Like Mp, Maya4Life, and matryshka. Thank-you guys for just being there on those bad days. I appreciate it so much! Especially to you matryshka, thanks for the comments! They put a smile on my face. :)

Here is a prayer for all those who have helped me through the tough stuff

Guardian Angel, watch over those whose names you can read in my heart.Guard over them with every care and make their way easy and their labours fruitful.Dry their tears if they weep; sanctify their joys; raise their courage if they weaken; restore their hope if they lose heart, their health if they be ill,truth if they err,repentance if they fail.

Thank-you
MX

Sunday, January 25, 2009

One Of Those Days

Yeah, it is one of those days today. One of those "I don't understand why I have to feel depressed" days. I don't feel like myself. I feel sad, alone, anxious (for no reason, btw) and just plain awful. I hate these kind of days. They seem to be getting more and more regular. This scares me. I don't like feeling this way. And feeling like these feelings won't go away scares me. There has been many days when I have felt like this and decided not to blog about it. I guess I didn't write about it because I am in a bad mood and because I ashamed of feeling depressed. I know that not a lot of people read my blog, but still.
Maya4Life tells me that I need to talk to my mom about feeling depressed. I have, many times. I have just stopped trying to get her to understand how I am feeling and why. I have a hard time understanding my emotions and I don't find it fun explaining things I don't understand to other people.
When I am depressed and when I feel like there is nothing in the world that can help me, I do stupid things. Very stupid things. Things that are harmful, mostly to myself. I know the things that I do are wrong and that they will not help me feel better, yet I keep doing these stupid things for reasons that I don't really understand. Sometimes I just need to do something with all my emotions, so I do dumb things. Sometimes I just do them out of habit. I don't do stupid things for attention, as some may think I do. I do them I guess because I want all the "bad feelings" to go away, but they won't.
I have started taking walks when I feel like doing something stupid. My mom and dad think I go for walks to go do drugs or some shit like that. They don't trust me, and they have good reasons for not trusting me, but I am just walking. I am trying to stop doing stupid things and start looking at healthier alternatives for handling my emotions.
I am not sure what else to say...I just hope tomorrow will be better
MX

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Almost Done

I have about an hour before I can go home and nothing to study here, so I thought I'd attempt at a blog post...
I have taken 4 midterms: Math, was hard but I did my best. It doesn't matter how I did because I will either fail or get a D-. French, was harder than I thought it would be, but still easy. English, was easy but time consuming. And theology was easy. The essay about the Jewish salvation history took awhile but I know it by heart.
So, two more to go: science and history. The two hardest ones I will have to face. But two more and I am done!!!! I just have to get through a long night of studying and two horrible test...I think I can do it, I have made it thus far.
Oh, btw: it was Mp's birthday yesterday, and I forgot to say happy birthday to him when I was finished with his test. Now I feel guilty. So, I thought I'd just say it on my blog that no one reads: Happy Birthday Mp!! :)
I don't really have much to write. That is probably due to the fact I am written out because I have written five essay's today!
So,write again when I am free of midterms!
Peace out,
MX

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Life Has It's Up's and Down's

Yesterday was not a good day, not at all. I felt stressed and tired. I felt depressed for the first time in a long time and that made me scared and angry. I thought that I was done feeling depressed, but I realized that feeling that way never goes away, it just hides. Which is the reason I was in a very pissy mood to everybody yesterday, even Mp. Not even theology class could make me smile. So, after school I decided to go for a long walk in the cold to help myself feel better. S0 I bought a monster, turned my ipod to tune out the world, and walked f0r an hour. I believe that this helped, and I thought through a lot.

I thought about school, midterms, stress, Mp, Maya4Life, and just life in general. I am still very confused about most of these things and I still have no idea why I am feeling the way I do, but I do a little feel better.

One thing that I did think about that I do understand is this: Just because today treated you badly, doesn't mean tomorrow will. This was my motivation for getting up this morning with a relatively good attitude. It also motivated me to study for midterms...

Today was better than yesterday in many ways. I did well (I think) on my tests, I got to study for midterms in most of my classes, I didn't feel as depressed, I have the rest of the day free, and I talked to Mp.

On the negative side today, I am tired. I also had to talk to my guidance counselor today.

I didn't know why because all they gave me was a piece of paper with an appointment time on it. So this made me feel anxious, and when I get to anxious there is really nothing I can do about it besides taking deep breaths and hoping that I will stop shaking. So, I just talked with Mrs. W (the freshman counselor) and she just wanted to talk to me about how I was liking to school. (I know now that this had to do with something my mom said to her about me wanting to transfer.) I lied, I said everything was fine. She told me that if I ever need anything I can come back and talk to her, but I won't. She seemed nice and all, but I don't like guidance counselors, never have. I haven't really have a good experience with them in the past, that is probably why. I don't want to talk to her because I don't know her and she doesn't know me. And besides, she has kids like me come talk to her everyday, why would she care if everything was fine with me? It is just her job. And when I talk to counselors, I feel bombarded with questions that are pointless.

If I am going to talk to anyone about how school is going it is going to be Maya4Life or Mp. I trust them, I know them, and I don't feel awkward talking o them. And they don't ask me how I am doing just because it is their job, they do it because they care. (Well, I hope they do)

So, those are my life's ups and downs for the last 2 days, hopefully there will be more ups than downs in times to come.

But life is a winding road of confusion, so there is no way to tell what will come next. Just got to keep hoping for the best...

MX

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Midterms...A High School Student's Worst Nightmare

Guess what a week from today is??? Midterms!! Ugh, guess which one I have first??? Math! Figures. But good news: I can switch to non-honors algebra after midterms without switching around my whole schedule!! The only reason I didn't switch before was because I was afraid of having to switch science/ theology classes and because I like what being in honors does to your GPA. Oh, well. There is hope for more honors next year...

So, midterms. Ew. I don't like tests and I don't like studying so I don't like midterms already. But I actually did get a productive hour of studying in last night. I am hoping to do the same all this week. (But knowing me, I'll probably end up on Facebook talking to E some how.)

By the way, Mp knows that I like E. At the basketball game he asked me if I had any crushes and I wouldn't tell him. But of course, he convinced me to in the end. That's okay, I trust him. And he would have probably found out one way or another. He's good like that.

Also, yesterday in theology class (lol), he told the class that I was his date at the game. Talk about embarrassing! And did I mention E is in my class? I don't really care what anyone says, because I guess I was his date. If anyone says anything, there probably just jealous. And I am not ashamed that I sat with a teacher at a school basket ball game, it was fun. And I don't regret it one bit...

MX

Monday, January 12, 2009

Math is Ruining My Life (Rather My GPA)

I just spoke with my math teacher and I scored a 50 on our last test. I have a 70 average in that class. That is just passing. There is no hope for me to bring that grade up to a C. That is not good. That is very, very bad. I am going to have all A's and one big, fat, nasty F (possibly a D if I do well on the midterm, which is not likely) on my report card. Do you know how bad that is going to look like to me, my parents, collages?????? I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! Take a deep breath, find a happy place, find a happy place. Nope, not working, I am still freaking out.
I guess on the bright side of things, I wont have to switch classes even if I do fail math. Oh, and the bball game went really well. We lost, but I had alot of fun and I sat with mp.
But, *sigh* an F? Seriously I am better than an F....
MX :((((

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday At Last

Omg it is Friday!!!! No School tomorrow, I can sleep in! For the last two days, I have had a hard time of getting out of bed. I seriously have to lie there for an hour to think of a slightly good reason to get out of bed. It usually involves theology class and seeing E. Today my inspiration was that I had a free period first, it's Friday, and I have theology class.

Today went painfully slow and the only interesting part of my day was theology class. Today our reflection in class (it is usually a quote) was about this:

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Mp asked what I thought of this. I said that this is saying that even when you feel lost God is there with you helping you through the tough stuff. Then he asked me if I believed this. I said Yes.



Of course I do, why else would I say it? ( I can't lie to mp, it is physically impossible for me. So everything I say to him is the truth, even if the truth is not chalked full of details, it is still always the truth.) But, yes I do believe this. If you asked me this a couple of weeks ago, I would have flat out answered: "No, God doesn't care or else I wouldn't be at this damn school!" But now my answer is: "Yes and I can prove it."

Something that Mp said when we talked about me transferring has stuck with me. It was how he said that I should pray to God to help me with understanding things and that God is there with me even when it does not seem that way. And finally he said God has a plan for me.

I didn't believe anything he said at the time, but I took it into consideration, and I prayed and looked for god in my daily life. Ever since then, things haven't been as bad as they were before and I now feel that God is guiding me through everyday, even when I feel alone.

I have learned so much being at this school, mostly in theology. I have become more aware of God everyday, I have come to appreciate prayer, I have learned to be a person for others, I have started accepting things as they are, and over all I think I have become a better person by being here.

I have Mp to thank for all of this because he put things in perspective for me, he has taught me things I will value my whole life, and he continues to be there for me. I am starting to see this school as not such a bad thing....

But there is still something in my heart that is telling me I don't belong here. I also still long to be in this choir at another public school, but maybe this is the not the path for me. Maybe I was meant to stay at this school. I don't know, but I am here at this school for the rest of the year because my mom finished paying my tuition. So while I am here, I am determined to figure this whole situation out and if here is really where I was meant to be.

I don't know, perhaps I never will, but I don't care at the moment because today is Friday and tomorrow I am going to a basketball game at my sisters school, against my school. Mp is going and possibly Maya4Life, so that is all I am going to worry about right now.

I think the answers shall come when they are ready....

Until then,

MX

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Back at School

So, here I am once again at the school library during my free period when I should probably attend to that unfinished homework due next block.

Oh, well. We started school again yesterday and it a was much easier transition than I thought it would be. I went to bed at about 8:30 the night before and surprisingly I was up at 5:30 and up and going ten minutes later. I amaze myself. School seemed to go by super fast yesterday and I had a high energy thing going on for awhile and went to bed at 9:00 after watching House.

Today is going okay, a little harder to get out of bed, but okay. Midterms are in two weeks and I plan to begin studying for then tomorrow. (Maybe even tonight) That gives me one more day to not feel anxious and stressed out!

Like I have said, I have no idea who reads this blog and no idea why you would be interested in my lame life. I wish I could fascinate all of you 2 people that read my blog with a love story or epic poem, but I can not because that is simply not my life. Well, I guess I could write an epic poem about my life, minus the epic. But my life is what it is: pretty good, but dull and sometimes frustrating, and I am really trying to accept that.

Today in theology class (lol, that is my favorite beginning to a sentence), Mp asked us us to write down three goals for the new year. You already know of my academic and personal goals, but he asked us also to have a moral goal. A goal that will help us become a better person. Mine was this: To accept things the way that they are (to accept things I can not change) and to me nicer to my mom/ sister.

This is the goal at the top of my list and this is a goal so easily accomplished day by day.

"Every blade of grass has an angel whispering to it to grow, grow."
(Quote from Theology class)

4EverandEver,
MX