Friday, November 21, 2008

Battles To Fight

Gosh, I haven't written in awhile! I just don't have time to, or I just don't feel in the mood to write. And there isn't much to write. My Life isn't that interesting, if you haven't already realized that. I mean, I get up, go to school, come home, do homework, then go to bed. Then I get up and do that all over again! Fun, right? In a word, NO.

Well, I guess there is something more than that to my life; there is drama and the struggle just to get by. If I had to make a To Do List for life, it would look a lot like this: 1) Get Up. 2)Survive. 3) Go To Bed. Every day is another hill (sometimes it is a mountain) that I have to climb over. From math tests to friendships and fights, I have a lot to deal with. Now, I am not complaining about this, I am just stating a fact. I see each day as a battle that I have to fight...

Sometimes I win these wars against myself and the world around me; then I am usually in a good mood. Then, sometimes I lose and I let my emotions get the best of me; that is when I feel/act depressed and jerky.

Today I won the war, and was in a very good mood. I got an 83 on my math test, I got to go see a musical, and I had the chance to hang out with E. (The guy who has been tutoring me and math and whom I also kinda like.) But sometimes I wonder how long this good mood will stay with me. My prediction is that by tomorrow, I will be back to that little hole that I tend to crawl in when I feel down. Or I might be feeling incredibly hipper and then I will end up doing something I really shouldn't be doing. I can never tell; my moods change so randomly and suddenly. It is so frustrating, sometimes I would rather feel nothing at all rather than the things I feel. But I can not become blind to my emotions. I have to just get up, survive, and then go back to my nice, safe bed where I can dream...

Night everyone...

MX

No comments: