Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I am Thankful

I am thankful...

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for my friends. (Especially Maya4Life!)

I am thankful for my teachers.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for all the opportunities I have in my life.

I am thankful for being adopted.

I am thankful for my math tutors.

I am thankful for my talents.

I am thankful for my dads girl friend and my mom's boy friend.

I am thankful for the things I have experienced in my life.

I am thankful for my freedom.

I am thankful for my home.

I am thankful for Love.

I am thankful for all those who care.

I am thankful for my school (although I am not thrilled about being here).

I am thankful for all those who have helped me in my life.

I am thankful for those who have changed the world.

I am thankful for our president. (Obama, that is)

I am thankful for all the things I have every been given in my life.

I am thankful for music.

I am thankful for my family and freinds above all. They are the ones that makes life so much easier and worth while.

Happy Thanksgiving All!!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Creating Myself

I just saw something that read: "Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself." You know what? This is so true...

I guess this is saying that I need to stop looking for "me" around every conner and start looking within myself at what I can become. Life. I thiugh it was bout finding myself through a life time of decisioms and relationships, but now I belive that it is about painting a self portrat of who I am. It is about unocking things locked deep within us that only we can get to. It is about forming ideals and opinions. And it is belivng thta we can become who ever we want to and then acheiving that.

I have the power to pave my own path and paint my own portirat, and so I shall...


Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Want To Change The World

I want to change the world. I want to make a difference. This is a new life goal of mine: I want to make a difference in someones my life. My bffl says I have already made a difference in her life, but I want to make a life changing difference in someones life that needs my help. I don't know how, when, who or why; I just feel that this is something I need to do do before I die.

I have been through some crap in my life and I know people who have been through so much more. And also in my life I have felt alone, misunderstood and meaningless, and trust me it is not fun. I was talking with my friend about how much better this world could be if people took the time to help and understand young people of these times. We are the people of the future and if we are all just a bunch of drug addicts and alcholics, the future is not going to be to bright. But if people took the time to help and support us through the hard stuff in our lives we would not resort to things like drugs and suicide.

There are some people in this world that have devoted there lives to helping teenagers who are struggling. I want to be one of these people to make a diffrence. I have been there, done that and I now how hard it can be when you feel alone and scared. I want to show some kid out there, someday, that they are not alone and that their life is meaningful...And important.

This is how I will strive to change the world...


Friday, November 21, 2008

Battles To Fight

Gosh, I haven't written in awhile! I just don't have time to, or I just don't feel in the mood to write. And there isn't much to write. My Life isn't that interesting, if you haven't already realized that. I mean, I get up, go to school, come home, do homework, then go to bed. Then I get up and do that all over again! Fun, right? In a word, NO.

Well, I guess there is something more than that to my life; there is drama and the struggle just to get by. If I had to make a To Do List for life, it would look a lot like this: 1) Get Up. 2)Survive. 3) Go To Bed. Every day is another hill (sometimes it is a mountain) that I have to climb over. From math tests to friendships and fights, I have a lot to deal with. Now, I am not complaining about this, I am just stating a fact. I see each day as a battle that I have to fight...

Sometimes I win these wars against myself and the world around me; then I am usually in a good mood. Then, sometimes I lose and I let my emotions get the best of me; that is when I feel/act depressed and jerky.

Today I won the war, and was in a very good mood. I got an 83 on my math test, I got to go see a musical, and I had the chance to hang out with E. (The guy who has been tutoring me and math and whom I also kinda like.) But sometimes I wonder how long this good mood will stay with me. My prediction is that by tomorrow, I will be back to that little hole that I tend to crawl in when I feel down. Or I might be feeling incredibly hipper and then I will end up doing something I really shouldn't be doing. I can never tell; my moods change so randomly and suddenly. It is so frustrating, sometimes I would rather feel nothing at all rather than the things I feel. But I can not become blind to my emotions. I have to just get up, survive, and then go back to my nice, safe bed where I can dream...

Night everyone...


Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I've been tagged matryoshka!

Rules:. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules. 2. Share seven random or weird facts about yourself. 3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post with their links. 4. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Random Things About Moi!!!

1. I sleep with a teddy bear named kyle and a Russian shawl that matryoshka gave me. I got the teddy bear in the hospital.

2. I LOVE sushi

3. I know how to say pineapple in 6 different languages

4. I am a night owl, I want to stay up until midnight even if I am tired and I have to get up at 5:30 the next day.

5. I am addicted to face book and flair

6. I have been pushed down the school hallway in a trash can during class. I have also been pushed around in a shopping cart in the middle of a street

7. I Like to walk around the city at night singing Out Tonight (from RENT) with Maya4Life

I don't know anybody to tag.... Every one that I know has blog has already been tagged!

Yepppp, I'm bored.



P.S. I got an 83 on my math test!! :0

Sunday, November 9, 2008


I just got home from a really great night w/ Maya4life. The funny thing about our little night out was that we went to a worship service at Mdogs Church. Just for all you don't now who Mdog is well, he was one of my most favorite teacher from last year, from ever. Well, this worship service was different in a sense because it was four guitarists/ singers and a drummer and they just sang songs about God. It was really beautiful. Just to let everyone know, we went to this thing because Maya4life's grandmother wanted us to. But I am really glad I did, I can't wait for the next one! The ironic thing about hearing my old teacher sing is that last year I made fun of him for his singing, but he really wasn't in his real voice. (Which is actual very good!) Another weird thing is that I have never seen him in jeans and a non-dressy shirt. We were all joking before the show because we thought he was not going to be able to sing when he saw me and Maya sitting in the front row! His face was great when he saw us, he had no idea we were coming! After the show we got to talk to hima and he asked us how school was going and all that stuff. Then we were just talking and he was like " You loved me, you hated me, then you loved me again, I didn't know what you thought of me!" We told him we did reallylike him and then we brought up the time he pulled me down the hall in my chair. Good times! Me and Maya had a really funny love-hate relationship w/ him and we pissed him off, got in trouble with him, and other times we just got along. It was great seeing him (and his daughter whom I used to friends with) again. I really miss him and all my teachers. My teachers have always played a really important part in my life and I htink that with out teachers young people would not beable to get by in this harsh world...

"What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches." ~Karl Menninger

Yeah Mdog, just cuz you teach the worst and hardest subjects (science) doesn't matter cuz you are a great person! Now if the teacher teaches a goo subject and is a ncie person, that is just bouns! (Like MP)

Thanks to all my teachers who have made a diffrence...


Sunday, November 2, 2008


I have so much on my mind I should write about, but I just need to forget about all the stress in my life and write about something that I love so much: the musical RENT. For those of you unfortunate souls who haven't seen Rent, it is a powerful rock opera based on the famous french La Boheme (The Bohemian Life) It is about 7 (Sort of 8, but the 8th person is basically a reject.) bohemians (starving artists) that live in NYC's East Village, struggling to pay their rent. (Hence, the tittle.) Everyone of them has their own struggles to cope with, varying from sexuality, drug addiction, and Aids. It sounds like a very inappropriate movie, but believe me it is an amazing film (and musical) about love, friendship, and life as an artist.
The characters are as followed:
Mark Cohen,a struggling documentary filmmaker, the
narrator of the show and the person who creates a final movie which details his friends' lives and journeys throughout the story. Ex-boyfriend of Maureen. Roommate of Roger.

Roger Davis, an
HIV-infected musician who is recovering from heroin addiction; his girlfriend April killed herself after finding out she and he had HIV; Mark's roommate and Mimi's love interest.
Tom Collins, a
gay philosophy teacher and anarchist with AIDS; friend and former roommate of Roger, Mark, Benny, and Maureen; Angel's lover.
Mimi Márquez, an HIV-positive exotic dancer and
heroin junkie; Roger's love interest who used to be involved with "Benny" Coffin III. (I got my name MimiX from her. Not because I do heroin or strip, but because she changes so much in the movie and has the unique out look on life: No Day But Today, which becomes the movies theme.)
Angel Dumott Schunard, a
gay drag queen street percussionist/musician with AIDS; Collins' lover.
Joanne Jefferson, an Ivy League-educated
lawyer; Maureen's lover; lesbian.
Maureen Johnson, a
lesbian, performance artist; Joanne's girlfriend; Mark's ex-girlfriend.
Benjamin "Benny" Coffin III,
landlord of Mark, Roger and Mimi's apartment building; ex-roommate of Mark, Collins, Roger, and Maureen. Now married to Alison Grey of the Westport Greys and thus considered a yuppie sell-out. (He is the reject.)
Now, the theme No Day But Today really means a lot to me because it is something that I really try to live up to. It basically means live this moment as your last and live your life to the fullest, which is something I think everyone should try to do.
The writer of this musical, Johnathan Larson, died the day before his own creation would have first opened off Broadway. I find this painfully ironic and sad. If you listen to the music of Rent and do some research on Larson, you will see how much the lyrics to the songs connect with his death, it is as if he wrote is own memorial. Very sad. He died of Marfan syndrome, which was very sudden. I believe he is a pure genius for writing something as beautiful as RENT.
This is such a great musical, so powerful and if you haven't seen it I suggest you do. I strongly suggest you do. If the by the last scene you feel no emotion about the whole story, then you must have a heart of stone...
Some of my fav quotes from RENT:
"There's only now, there's only here, give in to love, or live in fear. No other path, no other way, no day but today."

"Loves not a three way street, you'll never share true love until you love yourself. I should know."
"Give into love, or live in fear."
"Merry Christmas bitches!"
"Actual reality! Act up! Fight AIDS!"
"I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love - on life... be my life"
They call me... They call me... Mimi...