You know, I still can not see myself at this private school. It is just too weird, I can't comprehend it all!! I just don't fit in with this school and I can not see myself there in a million years. I told my mother over, and over again that I could not (and would not) go to this school. But she said it's final, and I guess there's no point in agreeing that now since school is starting on Tuesday. I can't understand the fact that I'm going to this school. It's not that it's a bad school or anything, it's just so not me. And if you know me you know what I'm talking about, but if you don't you don't know me well enough. I just wish there was some other way to communicate feelings on this school to my mother. I have tried every thing from a well thought out email to a persuasive essay, but she still does not understand why I don't want to go there. There are too many reasons to get into tonight, but I will surely tell them to you all some other night.
I guess I should just try to get past the first day before I start flipping out. I am told that you should just take it one step at a time, but I can't help think about tomorrow or next week. The truth really is that I am afraid. Afraid of the future. Afraid of change. And afraid that the life I will live and who I become will not really be what they should be. But I guess that's up to me what happens next and if it's right or not, right?