Sunday, August 31, 2008

SHOPPIN' WITH MX

Hey everybody! 2 more days till school! :( NOT looking forward to that at all. Now if I were headed back to middle school I would be absolutely ecstatic. I mean it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but middle school was great! But private school is another story. They are way to strict, while I am use to fun atmosphere at school.
Anyway, enough about school. Well, my life isn't that interesting, but yesterday I went to the mall. I know the MALL! WOW! But the only bad part was I went with my mom. A mom on a mission isn't really the kinda person you wanna go shopping with. (No offense to moms around the world) We had to go get pants for my uniform. See, at my school they are way to strict about pants. We had already went to get pants before, but they were to tight. Then they were to baggy. Then they were just to ugly. So, my mom had finally had it with me and she dropped me off at the gap and instructed the sales woman to help me. It was so much easier to shop with this random person than it was with my mom. So I found the perfect pair of pants (for this school anyway) and we went home. Then we had to go to church. WOW! Some more fun! But it wasn't that bad because most of my cousins were there. Then we had to go to the cemetery to visit my grandfathers grave because he die 4 years ago from today. :( RIP Grandpa. We also saw my cousins grave who died 4 years ago a month before today. That was sad, he was only 11 when he died. :( RIP Lev. Anyway then my grandmother offered to come over and hem my pants because they were just a bit to long. So, she came over and insisted that the pant's were to tight for school. (Which they weren't!) So, I had to go back to the Gap with my GRANDMOTHER! That was little weird. So, finally I got pants to please everyone, But then my Grandmother gave me this little "talk" about how my grandfather was the most well groomed msn in our town and that I am a TAl (refering to her last name) and I have to keep that in mind when I am at school. But I am not a TAl I AM A NIX (refering to MY last name) I am not who she belives I am and just becasuse my grandfather had a name to uphold, I will follow in my own foot steps were ever they may lead. Like Maya4Life (I think that is the right name!?), my BFFL, says it is up to me to maker this path my own. I haev no disrecpect for my Grandfather, I just do not want to fllow in some one elses lead.
Well, I guess I will leave y'all with one last piese of advice: Friends are like 4 leaf clovers, hard to find but lucky to have. This is so true, so if you have a great friend don't let them go. Keep them in your heart 4ever, just as I shall. Shout out to Maya4Life (i really hope that is the name you are using!): You alsways have the right things to say and you help me understand the things I can not compreehend myself. BFFL! (And I mean it, I don't know what I'd do without you!)

Friday, August 29, 2008

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

Hey anyone who cares to read this!!! I am done with my work for the summer! :) But I still have to do work after school this year. :( Oh well. At least AbrocombieJo is nice.

 You know, I still can not see myself at this private school. It is just too weird, I can't comprehend it all!! I just don't fit in with this school and I can not see myself there in a million years. I told my mother over, and over again that I could not (and would not) go to this school. But she said it's final, and I guess there's no point in agreeing that now since school is starting on Tuesday. I can't understand the fact that I'm going to this school. It's not that it's a bad school or anything, it's just so not me. And if  you know me you know what I'm talking about, but if you don't you don't know me well enough. I just wish there was some other way to communicate feelings on this school to my mother. I have tried every thing from a well thought out email to a persuasive essay, but she still does not understand why I don't want to go there. There are too many reasons  to get into tonight, but I will surely tell them to you all some other night.

I guess I should just try to get past the first day before I start flipping out. I am told that you should just take it one step at a time, but I can't help think about tomorrow or next week. The truth really is that I am afraid. Afraid of the future. Afraid of change. And afraid that the life I will  live and who I become will not really be what they should be. But I guess that's up to me what happens next and if it's right or not, right?

MX

Thursday, August 28, 2008

BACK IN ACTION

Hey people! I'm back after not even 3 hours! WOW! I guess I have nothing better to do. I have no homework, so all I have to do is watch TV and only a rerun of Nanny 911 is on. And ya know Myspace gets pretty boring after like a year... I just feel kinda anxious and when I'm anxious I write. I don't even know why I am anxious. I think it's just because I'm bored and depressed that I have to start school SO soon, like next Tuesday soon! At least I didn't have to start today like my sister, McAri. She's my twin.


SO, who is MX? I mean probably all of you who are cool enough to read this blog know my true identity, but who am I really beyond my name and interest? I don't even know who I am or who I want to be. I guess I am on a journey to find myself in this vey confusing and stressul world I live in. I hope you can understand this and how this is important for any young woman to do as they are in their high school years. And you know what? The school in which you are attending should help you on this increadbley important journey. I do not feel as if my school is doing that. That is one of the big reasons I hate the fact that I am going there. I feel as if every one is different and unique in their own way and so there for meaning that the journey and discovery of who they really are should be as unique and different as they are. I feel that at my school they are trying to make us all experince the same journey and become the some person in the terms of belifs and ideals. Maybe this is not all together true, but that is just simply how I feel. I think that I need to be at a school that has more respect for individuality. I am not saying my school dose not recognize individuals for who they are, I am just saying they do no recognize it enough for my liking. I am desperately trying to figure exactly who I am and what I was put on this earth to do, and I hope that my school and their beliefs will not stop me from doing just that. I just wish I could be at a place where I could fully flourish into who I was meant to be without having the schools beliefs and lack of respect for individuals stop me from becoming the the true me.

More later. Peace.

MX

AND SO IT BEGAN

I don't know who will read this blog, or even why I started it. The idea came to me I guess when my friend started her blog: Our Life in Maine. So, I don't know what I will write about or who will listen to it anyway, but I am going to write something. I guess I'll start with my day. Nothing to eventful happened, but I have to start somewhere. Today I had to do custodial work at my way over priced private school (where I was forced to go for my high school education) to pay off my high school bill. That was fun, we cleaned bathrooms. Yes! My dream job! At least my supervise, Jo, was nice. He wears Abrcombie every day, which is kinda weird since he's like 60. Anyway, I am new to this weird school so I have to make new friends. (Although I am perfectly fine with my old ones.) I guess I did, but they aren't anything like me. I don't even understand how we could get along, that's how different we are. At least I have some one to sit with at lunch, so I won't be that nerd who sits by them selves. Don't you just hate being that girl? I have been that girl on numerous occasions, so I have no disrespect for those kind of people I just don't want to be that, again. I was hoping to be like that awesome drama geek who has an incredible singing voice when I entered high school. But I'm more along the lines of the rebellious teen who doesn't want to be there. Oh, well in time I shall redeem my tittle of awesome drama geek. Or maybe I will become the shallow low life with a lame blog. I guess your just gunna have to keep reading my lame blog to find out. :O
Till next time.....
MX